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Fri, March 05, 2021 Edition
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Category: The Rectum

Our satire articles all gathered together in one hilarious place.

  • The Rectum

West Dining Center shut down

Miranda Stambler April 1, 2019 No Comments

Fraudulent tater tot hotdish recipe forces USDA to act Some North Dakota State dining employees may be out of work for weeks since the USDA “West Dining Center shut down”

  • The Rectum

Wellness Center to add extra weight room

Jacob Elwell April 1, 2019 No Comments

Say goodbye to the basketball courts ladies and gents If you thought the Wellness Center couldn’t get any better, you thought wrong. North Dakota State “Wellness Center to add extra weight room”

  • The Rectum

No more stovetops in dining centers

Jacob Elwell April 1, 2019 No Comments

Much like the wellness center, the dining centers are also making some amazing changes. You know the stovetops where you can make your own food? “No more stovetops in dining centers”

  • The Rectum
playlistSatirethe rectum

Singles for singles

Brittany Hofmann April 1, 2019 No Comments

You’ll be banging more than your head to this playlist For centuries, artists of all genres have been creating heartfelt love songs as they pine “Singles for singles”

  • The Rectum

Teabagging Fargo

Phoebe Ellis April 1, 2019 No Comments

As flood waters take Fargo by storm, other flood gates are still struggling to open As the sperm count of Fargo men continue to plummet, “Teabagging Fargo”

  • The Rectum

Briefs

Zachary Liu April 1, 2019 No Comments

The only coverage The Rectum needs Area cat goes missing, student journalist conveniently also missing In tragic news, a local Fargo feline has gone missing. “Briefs”

  • The Rectum

Spring Concert Two Way Crossing to teach students the dangers of jaywalking

Laura Ellen Brandjord April 1, 2019 No Comments

Country musicians mix music and message at college campuses Jenny and Blake Marvin want college students to learn from their mistakes. “Jaywalking changed my life “Spring Concert Two Way Crossing to teach students the dangers of jaywalking”

  • The Rectum

NDSU to increase parking spaces on campus

Leif Jonasson April 1, 2019 No Comments

NDSU to hire three new parking ticket officers in stunning move North Dakota State has finally listened to the thousands of students who have requested “NDSU to increase parking spaces on campus”

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