This article is satirical and fake. It is a part of our annual Rectrum special April Fools edition.

North Dakota State University is proud to announce a groundbreaking initiative spearheaded by President David Cook and aimed at fostering community engagement and fortifying the commitment of incoming freshmen to their academic journey. Effective immediately, all freshmen enrolling for the Spring 2024 semester will be required to participate in a unique and symbolic ritual: maintaining contact with the iconic bison statue on campus for a full 24 hours.

This bold requirement, passed on March 20, 2024, underscores NDSU’s dedication to creating a vibrant and connected campus environment while encouraging students to embrace the university’s rich traditions. By challenging incoming freshmen to physically connect with the bison statue, a beloved emblem of the university’s spirit and heritage, President David Cook aims to instill a sense of belonging and pride in every member of the NDSU community. Failure to remain with a hand on the bison statue results in immediate expulsion from the university. 

“The bison statue has long stood as a symbol of strength, resilience, and unity,” remarked President Cook. “By inviting our newest students to embrace this tradition, we hope to foster a deeper connection to our university’s values and history while also promoting a sense of comradery among incoming freshmen.”

By challenging incoming freshmen to physically connect with the bison statue, a beloved emblem of the university’s spirit and heritage, President David Cook aims to instill a sense of belonging and pride in every member of the NDSU community.

The requirement to hold their hand on the bison statue for a full 24 hours serves not only as a symbolic gesture but also as a testament to the perseverance and dedication essential for academic success. This immersive experience offers incoming freshmen an opportunity for self-reflection, community bonding, and a tangible connection to the university’s ethos.

NDSU remains committed to providing innovative and transformative educational experiences that empower students to excel academically, socially and personally. Through initiatives like the new enrollment maintenance requirement, President Cook and the entire NDSU community are dedicated to fostering a supportive and inclusive environment where every student has the opportunity to thrive. Cook as well as all upperclassmen wish good luck to incoming freshmen of Spring 2024 and are excited to welcome in the chosen ones. 

For more information about the new requirement and other updates from North Dakota State University, please visit ndsu.bluff@bison.edu or contact fibs@ndsu.edu.