Perfectionism is a Problem

If you define "perfectionism" from Webster’s dictionary, you get “a personality trait or mindset that drives a person to set extremely high standards and view anything short of complete flawlessness as unacceptable.” I feel like plenty of people know what perfectionism is, but have a hard time coming to terms with it themselves.

I find it odd that no one ever mentioned perfectionism to me when I was going through college orientation as a freshman. If it was mentioned, it did not leave a lasting impact for me to remember to this day. It wasn’t until graduate school orientation that I heard it addressed. We were reassured not to expect perfection, but to do our best. Doing your best doesn't have to mean doing everything exceptionally well and succeeding every time; we learn and grow along the way.

There is a wide variety of ways college students function when it comes to perfectionism: some barely slide by and consider any passing grade worthwhile, some students try their best and are satisfied with something in between, but then there is the end of the spectrum where perfectionism takes hold. These students strive for the best grades, every extra credit opportunity, possibly are involved in one if not more extracurricular activities and probably lose sleep because they don’t say “no” to any opportunity.

I don’t consider myself to be a perfectionist. There are times when I push myself to do something really well, but I also know I have limitations. I will not be getting an A in math class because I’m not good at math; thus, a B will make me more than happy because I know I still tried. I do really well in English classes and expect myself to excel there, but if I get one bad grade on a paper, I can shake it off and try again the next time.

Perfectionism in college is something I strongly believe students should not succumb to. You are a human being with limitations; it is not possible to do all things and all things well every single time. If you expect the most from yourself every single time, the one time you fail will be crushing.

And you will fail; we all do. Maybe you pass every class with As and extra credit, but are you sleeping well, or enough? Are you experiencing anxiety? Do you rely on caffeine to get you through the day? Is your social life burnt out? Are you struggling to focus or just not to panic when another piece gets added to your already large and growing pile?

Culture has taught us that failure equals bad. Thus, the perfectionist cannot fail. If they fail, who are they? Are they really a good person? Are they actually as smart as they are supposed to be? What will people think if I fail? What will my professors and friends think of me? What if I fail this exam and suddenly I’m not “good enough” for college anymore? If I fail college, what happens to me? What if I can’t get a good job?

You can see how fast the spiral can go.

Breathe. You do not have to be good at everything. No one reasonably expects you to be perfect, so why put all that pressure on yourself?

If you are struggling, get help. ACE tutoring in the basement of West Dining has all kinds of help available academically. They saved my math grade - twice - and picked me back up when I failed math once. The Center for Writers in the basement of the library can help with any and all writing problems. If you feel like your mental health is tanking fast, the NDSU counseling center has free services for students. Talk to your advisor if you feel like your class load this semester is overwhelming so you can adjust for next semester. There are resources out there, and you don’t even have to be a perfectionist to use them!

Now, early on in the semester, is the best time to reflect on what college is feeling like. Do you feel like you’re a perfectionist who must submit perfect work? Are you stressed out because you don’t feel like you have it all figured out? Maybe it’s time to sit back and reflect on what you expect from yourself and determine what is realistic. There is no shame in asking for help.

If you are suffering from perfectionism, now is the time to change that. How you determine your level of achievement as a young adult will follow you into the workforce. No one wants to have burn out, especially if you truly enjoy your major and your career choices.

In summary, be gracious with yourself. Everyone feels tired or stressed or inadequate at some point in their lives. Knowing where you excel at and where you might need a little extra help is key to being a successful person. Don’t take on more than you can handle, and don’t pressure yourself to be something unobtainable.