College Forces Us to Socialize Too Much

College life is all about socializing, if you come to think of it. From day one, you’re pressured to make friends in your tour or orientation group, despite never seeing them again after that day. You’re supposed to do icebreakers or “tell us something about yourself” on the first day of class, talk with the people sitting next to you and make friends with people in your dorm, your apartment, local coffee shop, and join a club or organization, intramural sports, make time to show up to events, sports games, tailgating and everything in between.

Is college all about making as many friends as possible, no matter what?

Plenty of freshmen walk onto a college campus for their first day of class and experience being away from home for the first time. It can be overwhelming, and often, having those friends and connections is what helps us power through our hardest times. Loneliness is no joke, especially if you are far away from familiar friends and family.

However, life is always busy. Jobs, classes, homework and now the added pressure of attending every event you can and joining an activity or club on top of it can be overwhelming. All this in mind, the system still pressures us to “slow down” or “take it easy.”

When everything involves talking to other people or being in a social environment, that can be very hard to do, especially for those of us, like myself, who don't enjoy every social activity that we are pressured to work with. College students can feel pressured to join every social opportunity that comes their way, for fear of “missing out," or FOMO.

This pressure can lead to burnout. Accepting too many responsibilities, overengaging in social obligations and having full schedules with little time to do homework or relax might even lead to feeling guilty for relaxing.

If you feel this stress, you are not alone. According to a study from the Association of American Universities, nearly 70% of Americans experience the fear of missing out at some point. College students are not exempt, as they especially continue to pile more and more onto their schedules as if the busier they are, the happier they will be, even though they already know this is not the case.

What if we stopped pressuring everyone to be social? What if we made friends naturally, without a forced icebreaker or attending every event just for the sake of not wanting to miss out? If we only attended when we really wanted to and joined clubs and organizations that really interest us, then we would have more time to actually cultivate friendships. We would have less stress and meet people with more similar interests. Making friends is great, but it takes time and effort for friendships to grow — time most people don't have because we keep being “too busy.”

What if you don’t want to share about yourself in a room full of strangers? This is a valid argument. You do not know the people in class, and chances are, you will never befriend all of them. Talking about details of your life to such an audience is anxiety-inducing and sometimes just plain dumb; strangers do not always need to know your hometown, your birthday, your favorite food or which dorm you are in. For the sake of safety, it may be best for society to begin skipping a few of these forms of forced socialization.

Making friends is good, but taking time to grow these relationships is even better. Not feeling pressure to talk about yourself or join every club that comes your way can reduce some of the already overwhelming stress that comes with being in college. Take on what you actually can; don’t be afraid to leave behind what you can’t and take time to actually relax without feeling guilty about missing out.