Dear readers, I come to you today with more exciting news. My sources within the College of Business have revealed the long search for a “Jeb! Bush Offered Deanship of College of Business”
Author: Jon Lipp
Jon is a Business Administration major who apparently has too much time on his hands. Feel free to tweet him at @The_Papa_Jon to express your disgust with his opinions and humor.
College of Business Faculty Agree to New Code of Conduct
Dear readers, I come to you today with big news in higher education: The interim Dean of the College of Business has agreed to level “College of Business Faculty Agree to New Code of Conduct”
Bresciani Plane Incident Leads to Drastic Cuts
Dear readers, I come to you today with tragic news for our university. It appears our once-beloved president’s wasteful spending has at last caught up “Bresciani Plane Incident Leads to Drastic Cuts”
‘Roots’ Remake Announced
Dear readers, I have exciting news from Tinsel Town. Paramount has announced plans to reboot “Roots,” the critically acclaimed and culturally significant story tracing the “‘Roots’ Remake Announced”
GMOs Finally Banned
Dear readers, I come to you today with incredible news for liberals everywhere! The brave ecological warriors of America have at last succeeded in outlawing “GMOs Finally Banned”
Local Satirist Stockpiles Articles about Mass Shootings
Dear readers, Hello my friends. I come before you today in hopes that I can help you understand a bit more about my line of “Local Satirist Stockpiles Articles about Mass Shootings”
Foreign Empire Annexes the United States
Dear readers, While I hope you all enjoyed your break, I am tasked with greeting you with grave news indeed. Word has reached my ears “Foreign Empire Annexes the United States”
Students Utilize Dead Week to Maximize Procrastination
Dear readers, As you all know, the infamous Dead Week is upon us. As the tweets about failing GPAs are paired with hilarious GIF’s mount, “Students Utilize Dead Week to Maximize Procrastination”