Local NDSU Student to Write for Buzzfeed

Jennifer Coffee discussed her move to Los Angeles.

Local student Jennifer Coffee has been assigned a writing position for Buzzfeed, with incentives to run the CNN Twitter page in the near future. Coffee has told me that other than being totally surprised she is also, “shook.”

Coffee, who is a business major and is, according to her, dating her dog, has no experience with journalism except for the occasional comment on The Spectrum’s Facebook posts, but that still didn’t stop Buzzfeed from reaching out. According to a Buzzfeed release, “She is exactly what we are looking for.”

Coffee, who is in the process of moving to Los Angeles and has over the past week learned that The Mamas and the Papas are the best band ever and has bought an In-N-Out T-shirt, told me that her future career is exciting, and she can’t wait to awaken the “stupid masses of people that inhabit this state and many others like it.”

“So where did you learn about politics and gain the experience necessary to contribute to such a great publication such as Buzzfeed?” I asked her when we sat down.

“Well, I subscribed to Vox 10 months ago and have learned a lot since then; I also share a lot of articles on my Facebook and watch CNN exclusively when I am at home.” Coffee told me she wasn’t one hundred percent sure if MSNBC was still printing papers, but would subscribe to their newspaper in the future if so.

This change in career paths, although stark, does not concern Coffee too much.

“I have been writing emotionally charged Facebook posts since I was in high school. I have been exposing the marginalization of minority groups on my social media for years. There is nothing to writing, besides being cool, like yourself, for instance, having a nice smile and having hundreds of social media followers to push my content down the throats of the masses.”

Coffee, who told me her ratios on all social media platforms are at least one to two, told me she has worked hard for her following.

“My grandmother followed me, and I didn’t follow her back.” Coffee admits that it was a “cold-bitch” move.

We will make sure to keep you all updated about the news with Coffee, who will be leaving behind her semester and picking up her roots by Saturday of this week. She noted to me that she looks forward to her new life, and left me with this,

“I am truly happy to offer my talent to Buzzfeed, my dream job and ultimate goal. They have more credibility than most newspapers at this point in history and Trump has never said that their content is fake news because no one needs reminding of that.”

Well, Coffee, we at The Spectrum are amazed by you. We for sure aren’t good enough to write for Buzzfeed.

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