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Incredible: Local Woman Completely Obliterates Guy in Comments Section

Sources reported this morning that North Dakota State sociology major Allison Fischer recently went into a Facebook debate with guns just f—ing blazing. Fischer, 19, has made a reputation for herself as a prodigious Facebook comments debater in the past, perfecting such techniques as “The Hayman,” in which she accuses her opponent of crafting a Strawman, as well as the tried and true classics such as linking the poster to a Snopes article and occasionally pointing out grammatical errors if the opponent just won’t shut up.

She claims that while she is trying to take a break from social media, she had to intervene when she saw her Uncle Joe being such a “backward misogynist” in the comments section of some news article again. Uncle Joe, who according to his Facebook profile attended “The School of Hard Knocks,” was reluctant to grant an interview about the incident, but when asked for comment, simply linked us to a Milo Yiannopoulos video about how “PC Culture is Ruining America.”

Sources close to the two rivals reported that the brawl took place underneath a Valley News Live article about immigration and really spiraled downward after Joe began arbitrarily commenting with pictures of Hillary Clinton making unflattering facial expressions accompanied by statements such as, “Trump won, suck it up liberal snowflakes.” Shortly after, Allison entered the scene and just started fact bombing the man left and right like it was an episode of “Dragon Ball Z” or somefin.

Fischer’s Mother, Lisa, stated, “I knew as soon as I saw the words ‘Hide all 73 replies’ that Allison had gone in there and just ripped him a new asshole and, honestly, I don’t blame her. But I wish for her sake that she would just accept the man is a lost cause.”

Fischer’s best friend, Evan Miller is proud of his friend’s successes but worries her habit may come at a cost, reporting,

“You know, I get a little worried about Allison. Like, we go out for brunch sometimes and she’ll be on her phone telling me about whatever Facebook thread she’s involved with and it’s like she’s just totally wired or something from all that adrenaline. Like, go outside; take a run or something. I don’t know.”

At press time, Fischer was still shaking from the experience, stating:

“Honestly, I live for this stuff. It’s like taking candy from a baby. That’s how easy it is to make this guy look stupid. Like, first of all, Hillary isn’t even the president so I don’t know why he gives a f— if she has dementia, and second of all, he completely failed to cite his sources with regards to his claim that Obama is a secret gay Muslim which is like, again, he’s not even the president.”

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