Hastings Out, Jonasson In

In a shocking move, The Spectrum has decided to fire current Editor-in-Chief Jack Hastings following recent backlash that apparently hurt his feelings. Taking over his place will be Opinion Editor Erik Jonasson II.

This move has some people happy, like Hastings, other people confused, like Jonasson and even more people going, “Who the hell is Erik?”

The move will for sure mark a stark change in The Spectrum’s publication. Most notably, Jonasson has told us that he plans on implementing a final edit on all content.

“I am here to edit all of the voices that come out of this newspaper.” Jonasson, who felt the backlash as well, notes that he is fed up with continuingly failing the readers.

“I have heard your mean Facebook comments and memes and now I am a changed man.” Jonasson told us he is planning on having a section dedicated to photos of dogs and that the sports section will never publish anything about a North Dakota State team losing.

The news section will become more of a Buzzfeed than a New York Times according to Jonasson under his leadership.

“Our next big news story will be about three different dining centers at three drastically different prices … not to spoil anything, Resident Dining Center served us a truffle covered microwaved omelet.” This will mark a complete rebranding of The Spectrum, something Jonasson believes has been needed for over a hundred years.

“We are going to be really cautious in this new dictatorship. We are going to make this paper the best, most thoughtless paper, ever.” Jonasson told us that he also plans on only publishing opinions concerning the comedy of Nick Offerman and reviews on restaurants not located across the street from the university.

“We are not going to make any mistakes this time folks. I promise I will be the most, eh, editor-in-chief ever, no more controversies.”

Last updated 6:37 p.m. Monday, March 26.

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