Gotta Go: The Plastic Water Prison

SHAFIU HUSSAIN | Photo Courtesy        Plastic water bottles are about the worst thing that has happened to humanity since the invention of the TV.

We’ve all heard the statements.

“Plastic is killing the environment.”

” Fish are choking on six-pack rings.”

“The ocean is 80 percent plastic.”

There’s no excuse for not taking care of our environment at this point, so I would like to point out one offender in particular: bottled water.

We all drink out of them, but it’s filling our landfills and sinking our waters. What are we supposed to do, though? We need water to live, right?

I propose an alternative: some sort of system that delivers water to people without using plastic bottles.

Maybe some sort of underground web of … I’m not sure.

Metal tubes of some kind?

Can we do that?

Maybe some places will have problems keeping them up and running (*cough* Flint, Michigan *cough*) but I feel like it’s doable.

Wait, but then people need to drink the water. Hmm. Maybe, we can just stick our mouths over the pipes and — no that would look silly.

Some sort of IV system perhaps?

No, that would need a registered nurse.

Well, we could use some unorthodox method like a, say, a glass tube covered at one end to hold the water. Ya, maybe even a bottle that can be used over and over rather than just thrown out?

I’ll get science on the phone and see what I can do.

Now I know what you’re thinking: Grant, what about all the great workers whose jobs rely on garbage?

Would you make them starve?

Would you make it so their families can’t afford bottles to throw away so that they can afford bottles?

Well, we may not need as many of those guys, but they can work on making the new bottles and drinking tubes I bet.

We also need people to lay the ground tubes and fix them in areas they aren’t working *cough cough* Flint, Michigan *cough.*

So ya see?

There’s really no reason we need to be drinking out of these wasteful water bottles.

Humans can do some pretty cool stuff from time to time; I think we can manage to make our water consumption habits a little more environmentally friendly, brochachos.

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