Running a restaurant often seems like wearing a life jacket in the ocean: semi-comfortably keeping your head barely above water. They face a lot of challenges. There’s fast food, Yelpers and resisting the urge to hit a customer because then you’re just the place that hits customers. All publicity is not good publicity.
There’s a threat that’s been around for a while and keeps gaining traction. A threat I feel is a substitute for most small restaurants. The next step in evolution, molded by economic natural selection: the humble food truck.
The food truck is kind of like a toaster oven. Food goes in and comes out inexplicably better. Maybe it’s that the employees are homegrown cooks, making food they enjoy for the appreciative public. Maybe they just use more grease. I don’t exactly have a refined pallet, but Christ if it isn’t good.
It’s like a portable hibachi. I get to see the magic happen whether I like it or not. You might see culinary art or a guy lick a knife and keep using it. The risk is part of the fun.
As with all things though, there’s something better and better right around the corner. In Holt, Minnesota there is a jet that was meant to be turned into a restaurant. The dream fell through, however, and it sits there barren to this day. It’s hardly the first restaurant to fail, but they had no idea what they were on to.
Clearly, the next step is to equip helicopters and small planes with kitchens and fly them to high population areas to serve food, a form of food air transport, or FAT for short. I want my greasy food to glide in on a cross-country tour of deliciousness. FAT foods I can enjoy while they’re here, and then wait with anticipation for the next time it comes around.
What’s more, who wouldn’t shell out for a hibachi-aerial tour of the city? See the beautiful farmland of North Dakota while a man throws shrimp at you until you catch one in your mouth. Watch as you dive and the chef has to keep the food from flying too far away from the grill. Marvel at a volcano made from an onion, which isn’t really different in the air, but is 100 percent necessary.
The food trucks are nice, but this is the clear next step. How anyone hasn’t attempted this yet is beyond me. Maybe “Big Food Truck” is shutting it down to keep in business, but it’s inevitable. When it comes to my food, the sky’s the limit.