Today I’m taking the frills off your looks, ladies, and ripping apart men. Let’s begin.
Oh yes, I’m coming for your hair.
Ladies, I get it. I too long for that long, remarkably shiny and natural look, but you seem to have trouble getting the natural look when I can see the clip-in part of your extensions.
I’m not trying to tell you that you shouldn’t be wearing them. You do you, but if you’re taking the time to match your hair color to the one sold at your local beauty shop, try to at least hide them.
The other day I was sitting in my class, minding my own business, when a girl comes in late and lo and behold her clip-in extension is on the top of her head.
No, not even under a layer of hair. It was right next to her part. Talk about a distraction.
Baggy pleated pants
Those flowy pants that cinch at the waist, but are still loose enough for you to wear them all day and feel like you are in sweatpants? Super cute.
The same thing only pleated in front? This is grandma style 101 and not even good grandma style. This is the grandma that doesn’t give you cookies when you visit. If your pants were beige, you could be twins.
Big freaking bows
Are y’all seven? Because I specifically remember that one girl I went to high school with who had to have a bow in her hair, and I also remember she had the maturity of a 5-year-old.
I have also seen literal 5-year-olds with big bows in their hair. When a grown woman puts a big bow in her hair, you’re not cute; instead you’re effectively regressing back to your childhood.
Baggy cargo shorts
Hello, men (yes, all men). Can you not find something that, you know, fits? Or at least let the world around you know you have legs somewhere in there?
And why are they always khaki colored? Who ever told you khaki was okay? I get it: they’re functional, fine. Can you at least strive for a size that fits you properly?
Also, and I know this isn’t the case for everybody, but if you are out here thinking you look like a snack in your cargo shorts, you couldn’t be more wrong.
Those cargo shorts are making you look like a piece of greasy, old pizza that just got dropped on the floor.
Who ever told you khaki was okay? Khaki is never okay. You not only look like a daddy’s boy, but it also blends in too much with a lot of your guys’ skin tone.
And again, why are they so baggy? Have y’all heard of slim fit anything? Or even straight leg anything? Put your chicken legs in something that makes them look like you didn’t skip leg day.
The color gray
You men and your baggy gray NDSU sweatshirts look like storm clouds. You do know you are allowed to wear color, right? It probably even looks good on you. I might know if you ever wore any.
I get that gray goes with everything, but do all of you have to wear it every day? You’re basic.