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The Spectrum Asks | Water Woggles?

Rio Bergh October 3, 2016 No Comments

I recently learned that pool noodles used to be called water woggles. If you ask me, it’s a dirty shame that the name ever got switched over.

Journalistic senses tingling at the prospect of a truly high-impact story, I took to campus to see if anyone knew what a “water woggle” was and to get reactions on the name change.

There were varying guesses as to what water woggles actually were — two votes for torpedo-like objects, and one for a workout device reminiscent of a shake weight — but a surprising number of people guessed that water woggles were in fact pool noodles.

There must be some inherent pool-noodliness to the name “water woggle.” Further proof that we should bring back the name.

 

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“We should totally bring back the name ‘water woggle.’ It’s just so much cooler than calling them pool noodles.” – David

“We should probably stick with calling them pool noodles. They probably changed the name for the same reason people no longer call sandals thongs.” – Casey

“Water woggles sound fun, but everybody already knows what a pool noodle is, so we should probably stick with that.” – Lauren

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“Water woggle sounds way more fun. Plus, there are light-up pool noodles, and it would be so much cooler if we called them light-up water woggles.” – Ellen

 

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“Bring back water woggles! They sound way more fun.” – Bailey

 

“They probably changed the name for advertising reasons and to appeal to kids. But I’m totally on board, I think we should bring back water woggles.” – Adam
“They probably changed the name for advertising reasons and to appeal to kids. But I’m totally on board, I think we should bring back water woggles.” – Adam
“They should probably keep the name ‘pool noodle.’ It’s what we’ve grown up with, so it’s easier to keep it that way.” – Kristy and Careene
“They should probably keep the name ‘pool noodle.’ It’s what we’ve grown up with, so it’s easier to keep it that way.” – Kristy and Careene

I’m trying to build a movement here at NDSU to officially change the name back to water woggle. There are literally tons of reasons to do so.

For one, the name water woggle is simply superior to “pool noodle” in every way.

Secondly, it would allow me to seriously say things like “I’m drowning in homework right now. It’s like I’m a wallowing walrus with a water woggle.”

Third, alliteration is always better than no alliteration. For example, if I were to say “I’m drowning in homework. I’m only staying afloat by clinging to a pool noodle,” it wouldn’t have the impact of the walrus example above.

Checkmate.

As a side note, our illustrious opinion editor recently wrote an article in which he referred to president Dean Bresciani as the “pool noodle king.” I propose that we change his name to “the supreme mugwump of the water woggle warlocks.”

But to be all fair before officially changing the name back to water woggle at NDSU, we have a poll up online.

Friends, Romans, fellow Water Wogglians — go answer that poll. Let your voices be heard.

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