NDSU to hire three new parking ticket officers in stunning move
North Dakota State has finally listened to the thousands of students who have requested more parking on campus and is responding in a way that will really knock their socks off.
In a stunning move, NDSU has decided to tear down Minard Hall and the Library, and in their place, they will build a parking garage that will hold at least 700 additional cars. The decision was unveiled at a State Board of Higher Education meeting by President Dean Bresciani.
“I said to myself, ‘You know, screw it, why not?’” President Bresciani noted that his work to preserve the beauty of campus and to promote the three pillars of NDSU has never been stronger.
“What we have the ability to do now is fully embrace the automobile and encourage students to walk less and plan less accordingly for being on time to classes.” He also noted that students will now have the ability to park in the heart of campus, a request they have been asking for, for decades.
While this move may prove to be controversial, local students noted it is exactly what they wanted.
“I have every right to show up to campus at 7:49 a.m. for parking and get to my 8 a.m. on time,” local junior majoring in Mathematics Education Paige Thornson told us. When notified her college wouldn’t actually exist anymore with the proposal, Thornson told us, “What?”
When asked if the university had considered the effect of tearing down a building they had renovated as recently as 2009 and is over 100 years old, President Bresciani said the following: “Minard is not irreplaceable, our students want what they want and we are student focused here. Hell, I was crazy and even suggested tearing down Old Main as well.”
The move would mean the loss of some 170,000 square feet of class and office space as well as the loss of many college’s homes. And the demolition of the Library, would also be bad, I guess.
When asked about this, President Bresciani told us that all colleges would now have reserved parking spots “even if their college had to be destroyed to allow our students to park in the heart of campus.”