Indie Opinion: Avoca-don’t


I honestly don’t understand what all the rage is about. They are a nasty, mushy green fruit with an annoyingly large pit.

Seriously, what’s to like? Is the gross texture appealing to you? Do you enjoy having to spoon your fruit out of its shell?

Or maybe the sudden urge to spread smashed up green fruit onto your toast comes from the new and trendy health rage spreading across social media like wildfire.

Honestly people, stop trying to be a hipster and just eat peanut butter & jelly toast like a normal person.

Avocado is disgusting and you know it, deep down in that conforming heart of yours.

Yes, maybe it is a superfood but so are wheatgrass, cod liver oil and Brussel sprouts. You don’t hear people raving about any of those.

Not only are avocados an overrated superfood but they are way too expensive. Why do people pay so much for an imported fruit that turns brown quicker than that perfectly ripe banana that you bought yesterday? I will never understand.

And to the people at Chipotle who cut off the cashier when they say,”That will be extra.” You suck. You are actually paying $1.95 to have a scoop of facemask plopped on top of your perfectly good burrito bowl.

Oh, and the crazy doesn’t stop there. You wannabe health lunatics are now ruining perfectly good foods. Avocados in brownies and smoothies?

We can taste that and let me tell you, it is not pleasant to bite into my warm, gooey brownie and taste the earth.

You can try and convince me you actually enjoy the taste of slimy, green goop all you want, but I know deep down there is no way you are actually enjoying ingesting such a disgusting excuse for food.

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