The following piece contains some truth, some exaggeration and satire.
“Dorm sweet dorm.”
I was a resident of the historic Churchill Hall last year. 3rd floor. What a great place.
Churchill, if you don’t know, has been on NDSU since the Late Cretaceous period.
This hall has held many famous people, including but not limited to: Winston Churchill (for whom it was named), Michael Jackson and is rumored to have housed at-least three of the Beatles at its prime.
Churchill needs loving. It is due somewhere around $10 million in renovations, which is a shocking $9,999,999.99 more than the state and university have spent on the hall since the 1800s.
Regardless, Churchill holds countless memoires.
Churchill has no elevators. Who needs them? We are Churchill Men. We aren’t like the pampered of the high-rises. Rather we climb stairs, like men. I tore my ACL twice last year. I walked up the stairs like a man. I didn’t even cry in front of anyone.
We don’t have fancy bathrooms like Stockbridge. Churchill’s bathrooms have been crazily designed to only accept male genitalia. It is rumored that if a girl sits on the male Churchill toilets, she will be transported to an alternate dimension. This of course has affected many Churchill men, who claim that is the only reason they never have the opposite sex over.
Churchill checkered hallways will always be memorable to me. Rumored to have been installed by General Custard, it is believed by many respected historians that Churchill’s hallways were where Bigfoot was first spotted. He was spotted walking out the showers one day shouting, “No hot water!” in the early 1960s.
Churchill is legendary, and its legacy of excellence will be everlasting.
If you were blessed to have graced the tattered halls of Churchill, then you, too, are part of the legacy.
The next generation of Churchill-ites, I am sorry. Your showers will most likely work properly. You will most likely not have to climb stairs at 3 a.m. Your life will consist of better gathering spaces, elevators and nicer rooms. As the kids say today, “SMH” (shaking my head).
This is my swan song to Churchill. Churchill was my dorm. It holds a spot in my heart. I am for sure others feel the same way. As the sunsets on this historic residence hall, we have the future to look forward to.
It is hard to forget though the charm of this old rickety building. Churchill was the dorm that you could ask your father about. It hasn’t changed in a long time. You could ask him about the floors, about the rooms and about the bathrooms. They are all the same. It’s uncanny, weird and heart-warming.
Congrats on your facelift, Churchill. You have waited a long time for it. You deserve it.