You don’t need a partner to be happy

How to find love during Valentine’s Day

Do I hate Valentine’s Day? Absolutely yes. For anyone thinking that I might be jealous, you’d be right. In my 19 years of living, only once have I not been single on Valentines Day. It’s so annoying to see couples everywhere when I don’t get to be a man that celebrates it myself. But that’s not to say that every one of those Valentines days have sucked, or always will.

Which leads to the important message I have for you all, specifically for those who are having a hard time on this day of love. Really, anyone could benefit from this.  This year, consider focusing on other forms of love than romantic ones. By which I mean, consider the platonic love in your life, or work on self love and care for yourself.

A lot of people that have a hard time with this day often focus on the lack of romantic love in their life, but you shouldn’t base your self worth on a romantic relationship. The first step to being happy on this day of love is looking at the platonic relationships you have around you. Whether it’s family (either biological or found), pets, or friends there’s bound to be people who love you for who you are. That’s a big thing! You’ve either had these people around forever or they came to you because they like who you are. Everyone is always so focused on love that’s conditional, rather than considering that which is unconditional.

As kids, romance wasn’t what mattered to us, but family. Okay, maybe it was the candy, but what I really mean is what I think of when looking back now. I see my Valentine’s Days as a kid as examples of platonic love in my life. Exchanging gifts with family and friends was all we knew as kids. Now, it almost feels weird to think about giving friends and family gifts for Valentine’s Day. Maybe that’s something that we should change, and try showing the platonic relationships in our lives some love as well.

On the topic of often overlooked forms of love, the next step to a happy day of love is focusing on yourself. Quite often I see people focus their happiness on someone they’re dating. Their mental state relies on their partner’s presence, validation, and care, which is obviously quite unhealthy. You should be able to be happy regardless of who you may be with. If you feel like you can never reach that ideal relationship, maybe it’s yourself that you need to love.

Find time to focus on what you love. Talus Bandelow | Photo Courtesy

I know personally how hard it is to make time for yourself and take breaks. Yet every time I do, I can’t believe I don’t do it more often. Find things you love doing and focus on that. Go on a walk, read a book, have some tea, meditate, focus on a hobby. Maybe do some self care since we’ve all probably been neglecting our bodies. Whatever it is, take some time to care about yourself. It may seem like it, but it’s not selfish. To even begin to have a happy romantic relationship you need to be comfortable with your life and yourself outside of one. Really, love yourself, for yourself. If you love and care for yourself it will positively impact all of your life, not just your relationships.

Even if you’re not single, try considering other aspects of love in your life. After a busy day of doing who knows what on Valentines Day maybe consider taking a personal health day. Plus, candy is on sale the day after! Don’t focus only on romance this holiday. Call your family and tell them how much they mean to you, hang out with a friend, write a love letter to yourself. Whatever it is, Valentine’s is the day of love. Don’t let society make you feel bad; everyone has felt love in some way. On that note, I’ll be practicing a self care day myself… that is, unless anyone knows any single gay men looking for someone to take out to dinner. I’m joking, go be happy for Valentine’s Day.

Leave a Reply