Vanessa’s vagenda

The right way to have a Tinder

I’ve had my fair share of Tinder swipes and matches, many of which result in meaningless conversation and disappointment. For the few men who meet me, it usually ends in regret and deleting their contact from my phone. But before any of that happens, it all begins with the first impression: your Tinder profile.

State your intentions

Why are you here? Are you looking for a hookup, a potential relationship or something among the infinite realm of in-between? This can be a difficult choice to make for some. But it’s a step that is essential to this process and I highly suggest you figure it out before you start swiping. 

Determining what you want will clear up any miscommunication with a potential partner. Like someone wanting to jump your bones without going to dinner first. Or vice versa; skip dinner altogether and take me now. Whatever floats your boat. Stating your intentions gets straight to the point. It saves time and effort since Tinder can quickly become exhausting and our generation has no time to waste.

Tackling the bio

I can’t believe I have to keep saying this, you are not hot enough to not have a bio. Not you, not the person on Instagram with over a thousand followers and calls themselves an “influencer,” no one. You cannot rely on your looks, as much as social media culture tells us otherwise. 

If you don’t have a personality, no one will want to talk to you. Keep your bio short and sweet. A couple of interesting things about you, your interests, maybe something witty if you can. Add something to seal the deal when someone comes across your profile. 

This is also a great talking point when you’re starting a conversation with someone new. It shows you paid attention and are interested. No novels. No one cares about your life story or your last breakup and how you want a rebound; it’s a turn-off. Get them interested and leave them wanting more.

Don’t degrade yourself in your profile. Self-deprecating humor is a major sign of insecurity, and although we all have them, it’s unappealing to potential matches. You must come across like you’re worthy of their gaze. How are you supposed to be desirable if you don’t give others something to desire in the first place?

Profile pictures. 

This is the most important part of your profile. It’s what catches the eye and gives an initial glimpse into who you are. This may come off as superficial, but what aspect of Tinder isn’t? Play along or get lost.

 Upload a few pictures that emulate your best self. You should already have some understanding of this since social media trains us so well to lie about our happiness. So, the classic vacation pictures, whether that be hiking or lounging on a beach somewhere, are ideal. 

Feel free to show off your bod if that’s something you’re comfortable with. Your profile is all about grabbing attention, so reach out and grab ‘em by the throat. Having a picture with your pet is statistically proven to get you more swipes, as is shows you have empathy and care about things; it’s also pretty damn cute. 

Include pictures of you and your friends because you’re capable of talking to others and people dig that. But a general rule of thumb: Don’t have pictures with people that are hotter than you. It’s rude to suggest, I know, but it’s crucial. Your tinder profile is a spotlight on you, no one else. Someone who could potentially steal that spotlight is depriving you of matches because that person on the other side of the screen saw someone they’d rather swipe on. It’s not a personal jab at you, you’re great. This is just a gentle nudge to put yourself first in this case because you deserve it.

At the end of the day…

I can’t tell you what to do. Your Tinder profile should reflect who you are and if these tips don’t coincide with that, ignore me completely. Show people who you really are, and you’ll be just fine. 

Tinder is for those with a curious mind and more commonly, a high libido. Although it can be disheartening at times or just plain odd, dating apps are a part of this generation that almost feels like a rite of passage. It’s just how we meet people nowadays and I wouldn’t feel as connected to Fargo if I never joined Tinder. So, whether you choose to listen to me or not, remember to have fun with it and just be yourself. Happy swiping.

– Vanessa

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