Tree of the Month: Andrew Birch

Birch in the name, but possibly not in the tree type

JOHN SWANSON | Photo Courtesy
Andrew is the tree on the left side.

Conformity is the new nonconformal. Everyone wants to be different, try to make a different imprint or make another dent in an old car. That last one may have been a bad comparison, but people are trying to break out of the societal box of who they are expected to be. Because of this, the question becomes if everyone is nonconformal, then is anyone really nonconformal? Is nonconformal really even a word?

Andrew Birch

That brings us to the tree of February—the Tree of the Month—Andrew Birch. Andrew Birch knows that conformity is the way to go, it has to be, of course. Surrounded by six of his closest friends, A. Birch has simply become a copy of those around him. You may be asking, “Aren’t all trees pretty much copies of other trees?” They say stupid questions don’t exist, but “they” have been wrong before.

Actually a birch?

An important note must be made. It is not actually known if A. Birch is an actual birch tree. It may be a poplar. It may be some other similar type. Regardless, the name of this honored tree is Andrew Birch.

If everyone’s super…

There is a saying that you are who your closest six friends are, and A. Birch demonstrates this beautifully. There need not be any variance, why shouldn’t all trees just be the same? There is, of course, no difference between all trees being different and all being the same, just ask Syndrome. A. Birch is a step ahead of the curve, along with his six friends. 

A certain son

The son of said tree, a member of the Birch family that landed somewhere across campus, has also taken the approach of this new norm. “I think my dad has it right, we should just be the sum of our closest friends. If we do this, and there is enough overlap, then we can all be the same!” Son of Andrew Birch declined further comments on the ramifications of having no variety in skill, personality, taste in weather or bark. 

Oatmeal for breakfast, lunch and dinner

Why not try conformity? Who doesn’t like driving down a road and just seeing miles of nothing, or going into a house painted only one color? Or who doesn’t appreciate eating the same meal day-in-day-out without any change in flavor or texture or color or anything else? A. Birch knows that being different leads to issues. Be like A. Birch—think inside the box and be a square. 

Leave a Reply