How to show appreciation for your loved ones this Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day isn’t just for romance.

We have Galentine’s Day, and Singleness Awareness Day on February 15, making it special for those without a special someone.

Valentine’s Day can also be a day to show those closest to you how much you love them, even without the romance; love can also be philia (between friends) or storgy (between family members).

You might be familiar with the Five Love Languages, which were made famous by author Gary Chapman. In his books, he also discusses how these love languages can work outside of romantic relationships (between family and friends).

The five languages are words of affirmation, quality time, gift giving and receiving, physical touch and acts of service. Everyone has one of these that is their primary “language”, that makes them feel the most loved.

There is a quiz you can take for free online to find out your love language. If you already know the language of those around you, here are some tips to help you show those in your life that you care in their primary love language.

Words of Affirmation

These are the people who love to hear how much you appreciate them. They feel the most love when you write out or verbally tell them how much you appreciate them or express excitement in something they have done or a hobby they enjoy.

A written valentine telling them what you appreciate about them, a text message that you’re thinking about them or checking in or a phone call with a meaningful conversation would mean the most to someone who has this primary love language.

Quality Time

These people love to be around others who love them. Having someone’s undivided attention for a while or sharing a meal or participating in an activity together makes them feel the most loved.

For those with this love language, spending time together is the best option. Going out for lunch or dinner together, spending an afternoon shopping and catching up or just hanging out and giving each other one-on-one time to talk are some ideas.

 But the catch for this language is the key word: quality time. Not scrolling through your phone, acting disinterested, or lacking enthusiasm. All these are harmful in any relationship if used to an extreme, but for quality time-lovers, they might convey that you really don’t care, even if you don’t mean it that way.

Gift Giving

It isn’t all that selfish to enjoy gifts. Some people feel extra-loved when someone they love gives them something special to show they are thinking about them even when they aren’t there.

For people with this primary language, giving them their favorite candy, bringing flowers or almost anything that they like means a lot to them. If you give something you know they enjoy, they know you thought about them enough to notice what they liked and went out of your way to give it to them.

Physical Touch

This one is a bit more creative, especially when some people aren’t “huggers” and others have no personal space bubble.

Some people just feel more loved when they can hug someone, or else giving high fives, knuckles, making up a handshake, or an arm around the shoulders. This is how they feel close to and connect with the people they love.

Acts of Service

Other people feel most loved when others do things to help them. Others seeing what they need and putting aside time to help them best shows love in their language.

Helping someone study for a test, running errands for them, giving a ride, filling their car with gas or helping them move are all ways to show that you care about them and are looking out for them.

Some of these might remind you of someone in particular who seems to need more in that language than the others. Even if nothing stands out, you can try them out one by one and see who in your life seems to appreciate which language the most.

Remember; everyone speaks every one of these languages, but one or two are always louder than the others. Giving gifts to someone who values words more doesn’t devalue your gift, and vice versa. These are just ideas you can use to show those in your life how much you love them, whether you are in a relationship this Valentine’s Day, or single.