Dear readers,

A light has appeared at the end of the tunnel. If you are reading this, we have entered the last day of voting for student body elections. Soon and very soon, we will no longer see Facebook posts desperately trying to engage the vast majority of individuals who cannot be bothered to care about student government.

The existing student government and the tickets themselves made a diabolically strong effort to reach out this year, but thankfully it remains futile. The more people hear about these elections, the more annoyed they tend to get. After all, it’s not like they bankroll student government and all its projects.

“I’m just glad it’s over,” one slightly stunned senior told me. “I’ve been through this charade so many times, and it really is so exhausting to pretend to care. Like, why would anyone want to talk to me about this stuff? I don’t care how the multi-million dollar student government budget gets spent. I just want these people to leave me alone.”

This tragic tale was echoed by many of the individuals I spoke with. Their personal victimization in being asked to give a damn about their school has visibly dimmed the light in their eyes.

I can only hope that they are able to smoothly return to their all-encompassing apathy. It would be a shame if the vile efforts of those running left a lingering sense of commitment to bettering NDSU.

But of course, dear readers, this whole article is just as futile. If you are reading this, I am forced to assume you care enough to actually review your school newspaper.

As a result, you are already more informed and engaged than so many of our peers. And thus my attempts at scathing satire are directed at people who will likely never read these words.

But maybe, just maybe, we can shake a few people out of their indifference and get folks voting. Because investment now leads to students that pay attention to their student government.

Students who will bring their problems to those who might address them and rightfully demand answers when their representatives fail to do so.

And we desperately need more students like this, my friends.

Sarcastically yours,

Papa Jon