Electric Vehicles ‘Spark’ Millennials Interest

FLICKR.COM William Oliver | PHOTO COURTESY The Chevy Bolt looks sexy, costs about $30,000, and doesn’t burn dinosaur remains.
The Chevy Bolt looks sexy, costs about $30,000, and doesn’t burn dinosaur remains.

This past week we were introduced to a possible glimpse of the future, an affordable electric vehicle. This of course sparked my interest. Please notice the hilarious use of puns here.

Don’t worry people, it doesn’t cost more.

Now, I could go all Top Gear and punch someone’s face, then give a stellar review of my top two favorite EV’s available for you to forget to plug-in in the near future, all while talking in a British accent.

Alas I know what I am good at — I am good at having an opinion about the big picture. I am in no way a car expert. Rather I am a long-haired, most-likely-voting-for-Bernie-Sanders millennial.

So lets look at the big picture, shall we? EVs are becoming available to the mass public. The Tesla Model 3, and the Chevy Bolt were recently unveiled for our viewing pleasure, and to fulfill our future line-waiting needs. I believe this to be good, but I do see an issue.

Now I could go on and tell you how much I love penguins and how much an electric vehicle is going to save said penguins. Some of you might even agree with my opinions.

Strap in Trump supporters and prepare to be offended: global warming is real. In this regard EVs are perfect. They don’t burn harmful fossil fuels; rather, they run on electricity that is produced in only green ways. By green ways, I of course mean coal.

Now, I own a Grey Honda Civic, four cylinders of gas guzzling power. Perhaps you have seen me racing around campus. Now 0-60 might not be impressive in my car. Rather something that is impressive about my car, and yes, also impressive about a Hummer is that they are fueled by petrol.

No kidding, it takes me like five minutes to fuel up my car. In some instances even less. Of course the guilt that I obtain by putting liquefied dinosaur remains in my vehicle is debilitating, but I will live as my father before me has.

I have come to a crossroads now. I am stuck between my earthly duties, and fulfilling my American needed instant gratification. The instant gratification is lost with an EV; it takes about 9 hours to charge one of those bloody things up. Now I am a hard-working college student. I work sometimes; I do homework sometimes. How will an EV fit into my busy schedule?

This is my complaint. How on Earth will I remember to plug the damn thing in? I know myself.

“Nah I will plug my car in after I get back from the loo.”

This will be the last thing that I utter, before I pass out from a mixture of homework, Netflix, and those peanut butter filled pretzels from Costco.

My future boss will be introduced to the following statement probably pretty soon. “Hello Mr. Bossman, I will be late this morning to work, because I forgot to plug my car in.”

Does this mean that I will be limited to only gas-powered vehicles, or maybe a diesel Volkswagen?

Now as a millennial that is probably voting for Bernie Sanders I have overlooked a few things. A few major things.

One, my college degree being about as useful as the paper they put under bread at restaurants, and two, having everything for free in the near future.

This fits perfectly with my future EV then. Hopefully soon everyone in America will own an EV, skipping out on work, smoking cannabis, and maybe even watching a good old game of football between Manchester United, and Everton. Cheerio than, I will be enjoying zero emissions, and of course my parents love-seat soon enough.

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