Still Not in a Romantic Relationship

I think the title is self-explanatory, but I don’t feel ashamed of my current position. I look left and right and see people my age and younger in what appears to be happy and healthy relationships. 

While still not in one of my own, I am in no rush. Upon being asked once by a mentor if I was looking for a special someone, I responded with, “No, living with myself is trouble enough.” 

I don’t feel like I have come up in the world since coming to college, though I am currently working to better myself in my normal routine. I am not on the lookout for a relationship as I am trying to straighten priorities of a healthy and proactive lifestyle. 

If I were to get into a relationship, elements that would  attract me to another person would be traits like outgoing but humble, expressive but thoughtful, and stern but caring demeanor. In other words, I would probably be looking for someone who has similar characteristics I consider to be a traditionally good mother or wife. 

I do plan on having a relationship someday but I have bigger priorities  on my mind right now, such as finding a better job position than the one I currently have in field work.

I am alslo working on my personal self-improvement in terms refining my public expression and tendencies of becoming brashly obnoxious, and the search for a productive hobby like gardening, cooking or building. 

Maybe it’s my own twisted, male mind speaking, but if I’m going to be in a relationship, there must always be a possibility for marriage in the future. What difference does that make? 

In my life, it makes every difference. It symbolizes the end of a single way of living and the beginning of a lifelong union. I say “lifelong”because while growing up, I was taught that if you don’t plan for your marriage to last the rest of your life, don’t get married. 

I do plan on having a relationship someday but I have bigger priorities  on my mind right now, such as finding a better job position than the one I currently have in field work.

I know not everyone has this mindset, but it is my personal belief that the words “till death should you part” are not figurative and should not be taken lightly. I accept the challenge but also one that would make me a more responsible person and help my possible family learn from my example, as I have learned from the actions of my own parents.

Another stipulation would be that I have to have a job stable enough to provide for a family. If I cannot supply for myself and my loved one beforehand for at least a while, I would not be fulfilling the role of husband as I see it. 

The role of the husband according to the Bible is to be faithful to the  wife and preserve the union as best as humanly possible. This is explained in Hebrews 13:4, “Honor your marriage; keep it pure by remaining true to your wife in every way,” and in Ephesians 5:31, “ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.”

A final stipulation is one I consider to be a personal goal to achieve self-betterment in character. I would have to treat my partner not as my equal but as my better to a reasonable degree.

This I believe is the key to a wholesome relationship. After seeing my sibling strike up a deep and strong relationship with a person I was uncertain of at first, I came to realize the source of the bond was the respect the couple had for each other. My sibling’s fiancé respected her and held her to a higher standard than he seemed to of himself.

No, I’m not saying the key to a fruitful relationship includes letting your loved one win every argument, or obey his or her every command and suggestion, but the most important action is to simply care and try to understand the opposite.

Having no experience with having a relationship I may find these tasks more difficult to accomplish should they come to be. And if I never get into one then, well, you can always return to this article to know why.

As it stands for now and the near future, I am not in a relationship, but I have set several standards in place for myself to accomplish during the first process of dating and then after marriage The key element is selflessness within reason. The opportunity remains in the untraveled future, we need only prepare for and then seek it out.

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