The Spectrum recently sat down with North Dakota State junior Devin Harris to discuss all his tips and tricks for beating back to school stress. Harris, who used to be a business major but decided to switch to philosophy mid-semester, has the whole college thing pretty much figured out at this point. Having entered his third year of college in a row, Harris is more than willing to share his sage wisdom with incoming freshmen.

“Honestly? The most important thing is just to not get your hopes up,” he said. “I remember my first year. I was lonely, terrified and had no idea what to expect from this place. Now, I’m slightly less lonely, but even more terrified because I know exactly what to expect from this place.” Incredible. Way to tell it like it is, Devin.

However, Devin isn’t going to let the stress get him down because he’s had plenty of time to realize how important it is to prioritize self-care and manage his time effectively. When asked how he does it all, Devin is characteristically humble, replying, “Ah geez. Well, I finally started using my planner this year. I even bought some nice color-coded folders so I guess we’ll see how that goes. I mean, I guess I’m a little more organized this year, but the real secret to managing my time is just that I’m so busy it’s literally impossible to procrastinate and I have to do my school work as soon as I get home from ‘real work’ or I’ll literally fail all of my classes. So that’s my biggest motivator. Oh, and I guess I brew a cup of green tea on the way to class sometimes. I’m trying this new healthy eating kick. I really think this is gonna be the semester where I turn things around, you know?” Yeah, we know, Devin.

For some of our readers, the whole college thing may seem a bit hectic, but we’re sure that in a few years’ time you’ll have it all figured out too. When asked if he has any plans for grad school or is studying for GREs, Devin really captured what most of us are thinking. “Wait, what? I have to do that already? No. I literally just changed my major from business administration to philosophy last semester because I realized I need to find myself, and now all of a sudden I have about one year to figure out what I’m really doing with my life.”

At press time, Devin was spotted studying anxiously in the Memorial Union in hopes that one of his five existing college friends might wave to him.