Inside Your Local Sex Shop

Romantix is the sex shop closest to my house and also closets to my heart.

The night was cold and our bellies were hungry for an experience too many college students don’t enjoy. That experience? Walking beneath a plethora of dildos and staring in awe at what constitutes as injectable these days.

If you’ve ever happened to take a wrong turn down NP Avenue and head toward Moorhead, you will find your own little slice of erotic heaven, Romantix. A couple of other editors and I went there to just experience what it is like to be inside (pun intended?) Fargo’s premier smut shop.

The first thing that will surprise any new guests is that they card everyone who comes (again pun?) in. Although this is obviously a law, and young 17-year-old eyes look away, it still doesn’t give people the maturity to look at a fleshlight and not feel uncomfortable with fellow coworkers two feet away.

After retrieving our cards from the lovely blue-haired man, we went about, immersing ourselves in sexual paradise. Butt plugs to strap-ons, come one come all, a dildo for you and a fleshlight for you — yes sir, we do have anal beads.

As myself and the guy I was with tried to relate, unsuccessfully I might add, to any dildo on the wall, our other editor was running about looking at whips and rope. For any BDSM (bondage, discipline/dominance, submission/sadism, masochism) enthusiast, I would think you would find what you need here.

This led of course to the backroom, which has plenty of porn revolving around the back door, if you know what I mean.

As we looked, the male editor with me started pointing out all of the porn stars he knew, almost giddy with excitement. It wasn’t until I got to, “F—ing Grannie” that I really started feeling a bit queasy.

It was at that point that we realized that there is another backroom to this place. A backroom with individual booths, and doors, and curtains and, according to a couple of my coworkers, dried semen on the ground. Oh mama, where is my Bible?

After exploring, it became obvious that there was an unseen part of Romantix, which, spoiler, we did not go and see. That was because these areas cost money to go into, and some of us were concerned to have that on our credit cards be charged there and others of us, just didn’t want to pay the charge.

Hundreds of hours of video awaited, though, for only $6. It was also noted that there may or may not be toys down there to play with. Which, if true, kind of throws me for a loop. Likewise, the backrooms, which we went in to explore, were also paid areas which we were told after the fact.

The importance of talking about the smut of our lives became apparent though. Sex is fun, although the fact that it has been deemed a taboo and few take the time to discuss it, but placing yourself in the epicenter of smut really brings out the best in us.

Before we knew it, conversations around everything under the smut sun began happening. Talks about sex, talks about the coloring book for the “Kama Sutra.” This led to a more matured outlook on the smut before us. This stuff isn’t just for perverts. Although I don’t see myself anytime soon partaking in the backroom, I will gladly grab some lube my good blue-haired man and I will be paying in cash.

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