I hate cuffing season

I know this concept isn’t creative or original, but I’m also not in the minority when it comes to this issue. Cuffing season is here and I’m pissed.

As the temperature and my standards continue to drop, the creeping thought of a relationship works its way into my mind and I know I’m not alone.

It’s ever-looming and eerie. Why do I suddenly want to claim someone as my own? Maybe it’s societal pressure or maybe its human nature wanting us to cling to one another for warmth. But either way, I find it annoying and gross.

Relationships can be a wonderful and beautiful endeavor filled with love, laughter and happiness. But relationships forged in the flames of cuffing season are often rushed into, lack a stable foundation and end up falling apart quicker than they began.

You find a person who you find mildly attractive, who you can stand for more than twenty minutes and who you have a few basic common interests with and BAM. They’re your soulmate, right? Try again. I can understand the loneliness that comes with winter because everyone’s held up in their rooms anyway, so doing that with your designated person can make it suck less.

You have someone to spend the holidays with, even though you started dating in November and you must decide if you buy them a gift at Christmas to be polite. Because damn, you haven’t been together that long, and you don’t even know what they want, but it would be awkward if you didn’t get them anything, so what do you do? You buy them a half-assed gift to be polite and you know they won’t like it very much anyway, so why did you even buy it in the first place?

Dating during the winter also means you know you’ll have someone to kiss on New Year’s and have someone to shower with love on Valentine’s day. Whether these things matter to you or not, I don’t care. It’s really the only bonus of the cuffing season in my eyes.

Cuffing season also means PDA runs rampant. People are constantly touching; holding hands, hugging, kissing, basically having sex in public and I, for one, am not here for it. It’s nasty and correct me if I’m wrong, but no one enjoys watching others getting it on in the Memorial Union. Please keep your hands to yourself and for God’s sake, please use protection.

In defense of staying single, you get to save money during the holidays and spend it on people you know will be around for a while. You don’t have to awkwardly introduce them to relatives because you’re unsure if the relationship will make it past spring.

Staying single isn’t risky. It’s almost comforting because you have no one to impress but yourself. You get to focus on you. I always encourage taking the time to be satisfied with who you are before dragging anyone else into the equation. So maybe starting a relationship isn’t the best option for you right now and know that it’s okay.

What I’m trying to say is engage at your own risk. Cuffing season is a staple piece of our society and we wouldn’t have so many horrible Christmas rom-coms without it.

So as much as I may dislike the culture that comes with this time of year, I really have no say in what you do. Do what makes you happy and do what you think is best. But if you learn one thing from me and this article, just please don’t have sex in the Memorial Union or anything even remotely close to that.

Happy holidays. Yours truly, Vanessa.

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