Do’s and Don’ts: Wellness Center

We have all been the jerk at one point or another. Sometimes it is just pure ignorance.

Treat this like a BSA — a Bison Service Announcement, meant for educational purposes.

The Do’s are things you should do, in order to be a good gym-goer.

Do: Re-rack your weights. Classic. Where did you find those weights? You should put them back where you found them. A good gym-goer re-racks all their weights, and you want to be a good gym-goer.

Do: Be courteous, almost to an off-putting degree. I am a sharer; it is my cross to bear. I share food; I shared a car; I share notes and hell I’d even share a toothbrush. Approach if you need: a spot, a weight I am using, a machine I am using, a friend to talk to, an encouraging speech. Whatever you need buddy. Wanna share a treadmill? This is what a good gym-goer does.

Do: Play a pick-up game. Being a baller is part of my identity. I have put a few friends on skates; I have put a few friends on a poster; I have pulled up and put a dagger in a few friends. Things happen. A good gym-goer is a good sport and enjoys throwing up a few splashes with a good friend.

Do: Lift hard. Work for that person record. Improve yourself. Get those gainz.

Now lets look at some Don’ts of the Wellness Center. Avoid these actions at all costs.

Don’t: Scream. Good Lord, please don’t scream when you’re lifting, unless you are completely alone, in the mountains. A grunt is okay, kind of, but a full on scream, look there are freshmen here.

Don’t: Look at yourself in the mirror, or at least, don’t get caught. I get it. Gains are impressive. Goggling yourself, though, isn’t as impressive. It’s rather off-putting, actually.

Don’t: Be a jerk about your equipment. North Dakota State has about 14,500 students. Some of those students also go to the Wellness Center. Math aside, you are not the only person at the Wellness Center. Mr. Buff Trapezius, you can’t use three machines and have half of the dumbbells at the same time. How many weights are you lifting at once? Are you secretly an octopus?

Don’t: Get upset with someone for taking over your area. Trapezius, I get it, it is a packed Tuesday night. You must complete your superset on eyelid lifts. I understand. You might not see it (due to your weak eyelids), but other people are here. They have their own schedule; they have every right to the equipment as you and me. Don’t get upset when you’re gone for 15 minutes and someone else takes over your area.

End of this BSA. Hopefully we all have learned something. Follow these steps, live your life by these steps, tattoo them on your back if you must. Until next time — wanna go run a couple miles on the treadmill together?

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