Author correction: Yu-Fang Tu

Today’s rapidly-changing society often emphasizes the pursuit of productivity and achievement, which has caused significant suffering and distress. In contrast, self-compassion fosters a sense of inner peace by encouraging us to connect with our authentic selves through a gentle and understanding approach. It empowers individuals to learn, grow, and discover inner strength and wisdom. 

Self-compassion promotes feelings of security, love and belonging. Far from being an excuse to avoid responsibilities, it provides a means of healing, alleviating fears and pain and cultivating resilience. This, in turn, energizes us to take responsibility for our goals and navigate life with purpose and positivity. While society glorifies success and hides failure, failure is often a disguised opportunity for growth. Self-compassion allows us to face frustrations with peace and calm, embracing our failings without harsh self-criticism. 

The Three Elements of Self-Compassion

Below, I will elaborate on the three core elements of self-compassion—self-kindness, common humanity and mindfulness—identified by Kristin Neff, a leading figure in the research and practice of self-compassion and well-being.

Self-Kindness

Failure, frustration and imperfections are part of our lives. Self-kindness fosters the practice of being gentle and understanding with ourselves when facing challenging and painful situations. Embracing and acknowledging our discomforts and stress with a tranquil, warm and sympathetic heart leads to emotional balance and well-being. In other words, when we experience difficulty or fail to meet our own or others’ expectations, being kind and appreciative towards ourselves can help moderate anger, distress and self-criticism. 

Self-kindness fosters attachment and connection with ourselves, others and our environment, enhancing feelings of love and respect. It is a way to protect ourselves, care for our needs and treat ourselves with softness and understanding. This practice helps us avoid being caught up in social comparisons, competition or external judgments, instead filling our hearts with harmony and forgiveness rather than grudges, depression or anxiety. By cultivating self-kindness, we foster the development of compassion, self-acceptance, tolerance and a creative mindset to seek alternatives and opportunities in problem-solving and decision-making. 

Common Humanity

Being imperfect, vulnerable, and impermanent is what human beings share in common. Recognizing and accepting that we all make mistakes and experience suffering—whether from harm, deficiency, or disability—plays a significant role in cultivating self-compassion. Every person has their life path, but the many parts of this process—what we might experience and perceive in life—are not so different from those of others. This suggests that we all go through life’s ups and downs and are not alone in this lifelong journey. 

In other words, everything is interconnected. Thich Nhat Hanh refers to this phenomenon as “interdependence” or “interbeing.” Every part of an object is closely connected to the world. The “great body of reality” is inseparable, meaning that every object we see exists as a whole or integrated unity rather than as separate pieces. The myriad of encounters in our lives are often not the result of our individual choices, and often, we have limited control over many aspects of our life conditions. Therefore, the challenges and hardships we face can be viewed as part of the principle of interdependence. 

This idea shows that external elements play a role in shaping our internal thinking, personal perceptions, behaviors and performances. Our growth, genetic conditions, living environment, culture, religion, educational background and the responses of others all influence the development of our careers and lifelong growth. Embracing the interdependent nature of ourselves, others and the world enables us to be more gentle and less critical of our weaknesses and failures. It encourages us to view our lives objectively, in an accepting and holistic way. 

Mindfulness

Mindfulness, which originates in traditional Eastern meditation practices, involves intentionally regulating our attention in the present moment, as described in the work of Kabat-Zinn. It is intentionally being aware of our current experiences and occurrences. Mindfulness emphasizes living in the present by consciously being aware of what is happening both inside our bodies and minds and in the external world around us. It refers to the willingness to observe the ongoing flow of our thoughts and feelings as they are, to be aware of emerging internal and external sensations and stimuli with open curiosity, and an open-minded, non-judgmental approach. 

Thich Nhat Hanh described mindfulness as “the path of our return.” It is a practical tool when facing loss, hardships, and dilemmas. In the face of distress, dissatisfaction and negative emotions—rather than denying, suppressing, exaggerating or resisting our thoughts and feelings—mindfulness helps cultivate a receptive, calm and balanced state of mind. Mindfulness is a crucial element in realizing self-compassion and a powerful way to prevent people from feeling lost or losing control of their lives. It helps us gently care for ourselves, finding peace and clarity amidst the chaos.

Conclusion

In brief, self-kindness gives us the strength to view ourselves and others through eyes of forbearance, love and warmth. By embracing the perspective of common humanity, we can free ourselves from the adverse effects of self-blame or self-judgment—an essential aspect of loving and being compassionate toward ourselves. A mindful state allows us to seek a way out, gain clarity, find solutions to our challenges and suffering and achieve harmony in our personal growth.

Higher education is a critical stage in life where we learn independence and autonomy while striving to become better versions of ourselves and dealing with anxieties over personal and career development. Learning the essence of self-kindness, realizing our shared humanity and being mindful of our valuable presence can help cultivate a balanced and integrated life.

Looking Ahead: Exploring the Foundations of Self-Compassion

In the next series, we will discuss practicing the first element of self-compassion, which is self-kindness and its practice/applications. Please stay tuned.