Why Is Being Feminine Frowned Upon?

In one of my classes this fall, we did a class activity exploring Disney princesses and the correlations between their personalities, ranging from nurturing to independent/adventurous, and their story themes, ranging from self-development to romance. The results were pretty consistent with older Disney movies having princesses who were nurturing characters with romantic stories and the more modern being independent and adventurous characters with self-development stories. 

There were also a few who were independent/adventurous characters with romance stories, BUT there were none in the section overlap of nurturing and self-development. During class discussion, we discussed the message differences between 50 years ago and today, and this got me thinking: why do the nurturing characters seem to be frowned upon, and why can’t they be seen as independent women who are finding themselves also?

I think that, especially in recent years, the idea of being feminine in a nurturing way and not in a career woman who doesn’t need a man way has become demonized, which defeats the whole purpose of what being a woman is. It seems that to be seen as strong, women don’t focus on making femininity a power move, but instead, they adopt more masculine qualities and call it being a strong, independent woman, thus reinforcing the idea that the stereotypes of men are what make us strong.

I’ve never understood this idea because all women can possess power, whether they’re stay-at-home moms who care for their families or a CEO who runs a company and have what the world sees as power. My mom is one of my greatest role models, and her ability to devote herself to her family wholeheartedly and care for us all day after day is something I have always looked up to her for. She is the most selfless person I know, and her ability to put others’ needs over hers every day is something that makes her powerful in my eyes. 

In no way am I saying that you must be a mother to be nurturing or powerful in a feminine way. I just want to bring attention to the fact that being a woman who enjoys the things that are stereotypically associated with women shouldn’t be seen as a bad thing. Having the dream of being a mother one day, enjoying cooking and baking, and having hobbies like crocheting or sewing shouldn’t be looked down upon because when we do look down on these things, that is where we begin to take power away from those women. 

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