Spring is (hopefully) just around the corner, and love is in the air, bringing to many those familiar feelings of butterflies in the stomach, dizziness, a dry mouth and (occasionally) nausea.

Or maybe that’s from the questionable ‘shrooms on the pizza you had for lunch. Hard to tell, really.

Valentine’s Day is approaching, and we all know what that means — a proliferation of heart-shaped balloons, smarmy cards, chocolates, flowers and too many happy couples, with us single folk looking grumpily on. But is that really the case?

According to a study by SmartAsset.com, Fargo ranks number four in the U.S. for best cities for single people to live (if they enjoy the single life). The assessment was based on several factors, including cost of living, the amount of other single people and the concentration of bars and entertainment venues. Armed with this information, I took to the Memorial Union to find unsuspecting single people to riddle this article with quotes.

I found an engineering student first. He was absorbed in his meal and didn’t notice I was springing an ambush until it was too late to escape.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR VALENTINE’S DAY,” I yelled, shuffling around to block his escape route so he had to answer me instead of running for freedom.

“Netflix and chill. Alone,” calmly responded Tyler Boelter, professional single person. Tyler said he is unperturbed by his singleness. Way to be, Tyler. I’m proud of your stolid resistance in the face of the dastardly display of consumerism that is Valentine’s Day.

After the surprisingly amicable manner in which the first interview proceeded, I decided to use less aggressive tactics in my encounters with subsequent students.

I found my next hapless victims stuck behind a display booth selling scotch-a-roos, where they had no choice but to sit and listen to my questions about their plans for Valentine’s Day.

“I’ll be playing video games,” said David Hinrichs, a junior majoring in food science. David has stumbled upon one of the frequently unacknowledged advantages of being single — you can spend an entire weekend playing video games and consuming vast quantities of pizza and Mountain Dew. And absolutely nobody will care.

However, I am concerned for David’s freedom. When asked about his plans, David Syverson, a sophomore majoring in food science and food safety, claims he will be “finding David H. a girlfriend.” I hope he is joking. If not, I am totally aghast.

By this time, my interviewing tactics for the day had been perfected: I would run down people who inadvertently made eye contact. My last subject accidentally looked up from her computer when I walked by. I pounced on my opportunity.

“I will be working,” says Selina Condon, a pre-med student. “I’m too busy between classes and two jobs to be worried about having a boyfriend,” she notes. This brings up another benefit of being single — there is more time to concentrate on building a career. I applaud you, Selina.

And what will I be doing on Valentine’s Day, you ask? I haven’t decided yet. Maybe I’ll cry myself to sleep over a few rom-coms. But that’s unlikely. I might go around throwing things at happy people. That’s more likely. And maybe I’ll see just how much discount candy I can eat in the coming week.

Regardless, single people of Fargo: rejoice! Fargo is the fourth best place you could be. So go out there, have fun and trip a happy couple.