‘Tis the Season to Break Up

As the holiday season approaches, everyone seems to be coupling up. That being said, there are valid reasons some people should be coupling down.

While I don’t mean this to come across as an advice column, maybe it is time that someone said it for all to hear without a Disney twist.

If you do not feel you are getting enough attention, or if your partner always seems distracted, you have a problem. And the answer is not to do everything in your power — from getting angry to walking away crying — to get their attention.

It is to give them some space and work on yourself; otherwise, you come across as needier than ever and the wedge between you grows deeper as their annoyance increases.

We have been told time and again that you cannot change someone. Even if the Romeo-esque character in your favorite Rom-Com changes and winds up with the girl, that scenario is not real life.

If your partner wants to be a lawyer for a large firm, and you want to live in the mountains as a park ranger, that says something about how well you will work together.

Not everything magically works out, and if you are unwilling to sacrifice your dream, you cannot expect the other person to want to either.

Along those same future-oriented lines, if you have been together for a few years and you know that your partner is a person who wants to get married (and you are too) but they continually pull back the reigns on moving forward with you, take the hint.

I am sure plenty of people will disagree and say that maybe they just are not ready, but I will say this much: anytime someone is resistant to giving you their time or attention, you need to take that information at face value.

The same goes for hanging out. When someone continually avoids you or is busy, stop falling for it.

Whether it be in friendships, relationships or whatever, I find it completely ridiculous that people continually buy the excuses. I have seen friends (both girls and boys) go to great lengths to spend time with someone about whom they truly care. No matter what they had going on, they tried to see the people who they felt were worth their time.

Maybe it is a hard reality to face, but if you commit your time to someone and you constantly get brushed aside so that they can go to the gym, library or grocery store, they obviously are not prioritizing you.

Finally, if on the off chance you have somehow slipped so far that you have begun accusing them of cheating or you habitually check their texts or who they’ve become friends with on social media, step back and look at your actions.

There has to be a reason for that borderline-stalker behavior. If you do not trust them and their friendships, you need to be done with the relationship. It is toxic to you both when one person starts attempting to control the friendships and actions of the other.

From an outsider’s perspective, it is apparent when a relationship is majorly dysfunctional. While I understand the hardship of actually being in the situation, breakups are not the end of the world.

Just because all of your Facebook friends start putting a ring on it does not mean that it is in your best interest to jump off that same bridge into the unknown that is a committed relationship.

Breaks may not be forever, but a trust and respect-deprived marriage or relationship definitely will not be.

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