The World Time Warp

Last month, world leaders made changes to time

On Feb. 22, 2022, world leaders gathered to discuss the growing issue of time throughout the world. The United State’s Legislature has passed a bill to eliminate Daylight Savings Time. This decision has been made after numerous complaints from restless Baby Boomers, along with a peaceful protest at 2 a.m. 

The world leaders have gathered to make more changes surrounding time. When questioned why all these changes are taking place, President Joe Biden stated “Might as well…” 


One change that leaders had enacted last month was the correction of the monthly calendars. They have now changed February to have 30 days rather than the previous 28. This change was done because the last system “just wasn’t working out,” said Queen Elizabeth II. 

This change will be enacted next year in 2023. The days added to the February calender will be taken from two months with 31 days in them. The months were voted on by politicians and time experts. The months selected were October 31 and December 31. World politician, John Doe, stated that these were chosen because “nothing important is happening on these days.”

Elimination of time zones

Another change that was made to the international idea of time was the change in time zones. Rather than having 24 time zones, the UN has started enforcing only one zone. This means that everyone will be at the same time all the time. This was necessary, according to the UN, because traveling was just too hard. “You would need to adjust for days on end, which took too much time,” said leader Carter Smith. 

This will greatly affect the whole world, as North Dakota will switch to waking up in the middle of the night to go to work. Complaints have been coming into the North Dakota State government questioning how this new system will work. However, Gov. Doug Burgum responded, “We’ll figure it out later.” 

The time zones has been switched to go by the original time of Kemi, Finland, where the idea of the single time zone originated. This means that the world is currently all in EEST, or Eastern European Summer Time. North Dakota along with the rest of the United States will spend much of their work day in the dark of night, which is a large change for everyone, except for Alaska. 

Military time 

With the change of time zones, the United States also proposed the idea that we begin military time. This will eliminate the need to add words into time such as “noon” and “midnight”. This will also eliminate the need for a.m. and p.m. “This will really clear things up,” said Thomas Wilson. 

Elimination of analogue clocks

Every person in the world has agreed that analogue clocks should be outlawed. One world leader said that this change has been in the works since the creation of the digital clock. “I don’t know why we haven’t done this sooner,” said Juan Oak Lock. 

An NDSU student Alice Begget stated she has never learned how to use an analog clock. When shown a clock she said, “I have never seen one of those before.” 

“The changes in time will be confusing for the first year or two, but eventually people will catch on,” said Al Price, “hopefully we figure things out before the start of work next Monday.”

Leave a Reply