Dear readers, I come to you today with tragic news for our university. It appears our once-beloved president’s wasteful spending has at last caught up “Bresciani Plane Incident Leads to Drastic Cuts”
Tag: Satire
‘Roots’ Remake Announced
Dear readers, I have exciting news from Tinsel Town. Paramount has announced plans to reboot “Roots,” the critically acclaimed and culturally significant story tracing the “‘Roots’ Remake Announced”
GMOs Finally Banned
Dear readers, I come to you today with incredible news for liberals everywhere! The brave ecological warriors of America have at last succeeded in outlawing “GMOs Finally Banned”
Local Satirist Stockpiles Articles about Mass Shootings
Dear readers, Hello my friends. I come before you today in hopes that I can help you understand a bit more about my line of “Local Satirist Stockpiles Articles about Mass Shootings”
Foreign Empire Annexes the United States
Dear readers, While I hope you all enjoyed your break, I am tasked with greeting you with grave news indeed. Word has reached my ears “Foreign Empire Annexes the United States”
Students Utilize Dead Week to Maximize Procrastination
Dear readers, As you all know, the infamous Dead Week is upon us. As the tweets about failing GPAs are paired with hilarious GIF’s mount, “Students Utilize Dead Week to Maximize Procrastination”
The True Meaning Of Dead Week
The following is an absolutely 100 percent true excerpt from some abandoned Merriam-Webster Dictionary. Dead Week (Noun) (Deader Week, Deadest Week) Synonyms: hellfire, honeypot, misery, trap, “The True Meaning Of Dead Week”
Club Sports Develop New Officer Position
Dear readers, I am afraid the news I bring you today may not be terribly timely. I am assuming that you, like all students, devote “Club Sports Develop New Officer Position”