February is Dating Violence Awareness Month, a time dedicated to raising awareness about the prevalence and impact of dating violence, particularly among college students. Dating violence includes physical, emotional, psychological, sexual and financial abuse, affecting millions of individuals each year. For students navigating relationships, recognizing the warning signs of unhealthy or abusive behavior is crucial to ensuring safety and well-being.
Understanding Dating Violence
Megan Talcott, sexual assault prevention and advocacy coordinator at North Dakota State University, emphasized the importance of recognizing dating violence in all its forms.
“Many people think dating violence is only physical abuse, but it also includes verbal, emotional, sexual, and financial abuse,” Talcott said. “It can happen in any relationship, including LGBTQ+ relationships, and it’s not always men abusing women. Men can be victims, and women can be perpetrators.”
According to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, nearly one in three college students experience some form of dating violence. Despite this, many cases go unreported due to fear, stigma or lack of awareness.
Identifying Signs of Abuse
Recognizing early warning signs can help prevent escalation. Talcott highlighted common misconceptions that often prevent individuals from seeking help.
“People believe that abuse happens because the perpetrator ‘just lost control,’ but in reality, abusers are often very much in control of their behaviors,” she said.
Some key red flags include:
- Extreme jealousy or possessiveness
- Controlling behavior, such as monitoring a partner’s whereabouts, finances or social interactions
- Isolation from friends and family
- Verbal insults, humiliation or threats
- Gaslighting, making a partner question their own memory or reality
- Physical aggression, such as grabbing, hitting or destroying belongings
- Threats of self-harm or suicide to manipulate a partner into staying
While abuse can be overt, such as physical violence, psychological abuse can be just as harmful and difficult to recognize.
Supporting a Friend in an Abusive Relationship
If you suspect a friend may be in an abusive relationship, it’s important to offer support without pressuring them to leave immediately.
“It’s important to check in with the person and express concern while understanding they may not be ready to leave,” Talcott said. “Let them know about local and campus resources for safety planning, housing, counseling and advocacy. Remind them that you are there for support when they are ready.”
Tips for supporting a friend:
- Listen without judgment. Avoid phrases like “just leave” or “why do you stay?”
- Offer resources, not ultimatums. Let them know where to find help while respecting their autonomy.
- Help create a safety plan. This can include setting up check-ins, identifying safe places and knowing emergency contacts.
- Be patient. Leaving an abusive relationship is a process that takes time.
A helpful video from DomesticShelters.org provides guidance on supporting survivors:
Seeking Help and Campus Resources
For those in abusive relationships, leaving can feel overwhelming. Talcott emphasized that seeking help is a personal process and should be done at a pace that feels safe.
“There is no right or wrong timeline for leaving an abusive relationship,” she said. “Resources like the Rape and Abuse Crisis Center, YWCA and NDSU Sexual Assault Prevention & Advocacy (SAPA) can assist with safety planning, housing options and legal protections like Orders of Protection or No Contact Orders.”
NDSU SAPA can also help students communicate with faculty if they need academic accommodations due to their situation.
Confidential resources available:
- Rape and Abuse Crisis Center (RACC FM): 1-800-344-7273
- YWCA Cass/Clay: 701-232-3449
- NDSU Sexual Assault Prevention & Advocacy (SAPA): On-campus support for students
Breaking the Stigma and Encouraging Conversations
Discussing dating violence can be difficult, but silence allows it to persist.
“Silence hides violence,” Talcott said. “Not talking about dating violence doesn’t make it go away—it thrives in secrecy. Sharing information on social media, checking in with friends, and attending events on campus can help create a supportive community.”
NDSU’s annual Dating Violence Awareness Month Food Drive runs from Feb. 10-21. Students can also follow the Violence Prevention Educators on Instagram (@NDSUVPEs) for event updates and educational resources.
Building Healthier Relationships
While recognizing abuse is essential, understanding the elements of a healthy relationship is equally important. A supportive relationship should include:
- Mutual respect and trust
- Healthy communication and conflict resolution
- Encouragement of individuality and personal growth
- Respect for boundaries and autonomy
“You Are Not Alone“
For those afraid to seek help due to fear of judgment or retaliation, confidential services are available.
“You are not alone, and you have done nothing to deserve abuse,” Talcott said. “Everyone deserves safety, and there are people and organizations ready to help.”
Understanding dating violence and knowing where to turn for support are critical steps toward fostering a safer campus environment. Through open conversations, education and community efforts, students can help prevent dating violence and support those affected by it.