The do’s and don’t’s of dinner conversation

There’s nothing like a Thanksgiving meal. You get all of your relatives who rarely see each other and get together for a lengthy (and usually booze-filled feast). Your grandmother is liberal, your uncle is a part of the Tea Party, your cousin doesn’t believe in the moon landing, what could go wrong?

When it comes to Thanksgiving conversation topics, the one goal is usually just to make it out alive. Here are some safe conversation topics and some to stay away from this Thanksgiving.

Play it safe

First off, it’s always pretty safe to talk about college. Talk about your friends, go to great lengths about how great the football team is or even talk about your classes. Want to get that clingy relative off your back? Start blabbing about differential equations and the food coma will hit everyone pretty hard.

When looking for a conversation topic that will stick, ask your family about how their health is. If your family is like most, you’re going to have one great-aunt or third cousin who has a medical history that could fill an encyclopedia. Let them go off while you chow down on some stuffing.

However, when it comes to medical histories be wary of discussions that turn to healthcare or Obama. As entertaining as it might be to see grandpa choking your sibling after a political feud breaks out, it’s probably best not to ruin the eating atmosphere. 

If all else fails, turn to discussing food. 

“Wow, this cranberry sauce is delicious.”

“This turkey tastes great and definitely does not make my mouth dry.”

“You didn’t put butter in the mashed potatoes? Oh, that’s fine, I’m definitely not crying internally.”

Discussing the food always makes the cook feel great and it reminds your family that there are things more important than lengthy and uncomfortable conversations: eating.

Avoid if you can

The most obvious topic to avoid would be politics. The minute any sort of political discussion begins, we all know that one person who will jump on the opportunity and start polarizing every member of any party.

Some quick ways to shut down political discussion:

“Did you say Trump? Louis Armstrong was incredible at playing the trumpet, don’t you think?”

“Liberal? I think I’ll take a liberal share of these yams. Aren’t these yams amazing?”

“Republican? I republican-t believe you’re about to finish graduate school, tell me more Jan.”

Another topic that you should try to avoid is your relationship status. Even if you’re in a relationship, daunting questions of marriage or children can make everyone at dinner feel awkward. If relationship status comes up, turn the topic to Emma Watson, she just declared herself “self-partnered,” fascinating.

Depending on the family, discussions of religion can also come up. For the safety of yourself and all others, try to keep it off the topic of religion. Even if your family shares the same religion, you don’t need any arguments breaking out about how often uncle John has been to church lately.

Then the inevitable question comes up, “What are you going to do with the rest of your life?” We can all feel a little surprised. We’re college students, we hardly know what we’re going to do this weekend, let alone our whole life. 

So, if someone asks what you’re going to do, just say, “I don’t know [insert nosy person’s name], what are you going to do with yours?” Perhaps a little too sassy, but you get the gist. Turn the conversation back on them. 

Ultimately, what you do or don’t talk about at Thanksgiving dinner is your business. You’re spending time with your blood or chosen family and you don’t always have to like them, you just sometimes have to love them.

If you want to talk about gun laws or argue about Justin Trudeau with your meemaw, more power to you, just don’t be surprised when you end the night with cranberry sauce on your shirt.