I was born and raised in a Catholic family, and for as long as I can remember, my grandfather, Joseph Hilber, has been a deacon in the Catholic church.

I remember my grandparents visiting my family in Maryland and my grandfather joining the priest at the altar during Mass on Sundays. For quite a while, I remember not knowing why.

At some point during my childhood, I learned that my grandfather was a deacon. He began studying to become a deacon in the 1980s after a friend said he “should investigate the diaconate.” After several years of study, he was ordained in May of 1993. Learning he was a deacon didn’t mean I knew what a deacon was, though.

I still didn’t know what exactly a deacon was until I spoke to him for this story.

“The word deacon, in Greek, means servant,” Hilber said. “What the deacon does is serve the people of the church, if you would.” He went on to provide a very informative background on deaconship and how deacons came to be.

He explained there are three orders of clergy in the church: bishops, presbyters (more commonly know as priests in Catholic churches) and deacons.  Bishops are the head of the church in specific geographic areas, while priests are assigned by bishops to more local areas. Deacons work for bishops and are assigned to priests based on if and where extra help is needed.

Since deacons can be assigned to priests, this also explains why a deacon might read the gospel during Mass instead of the priest. If a priest is unable to read the gospel or preach, he may have the deacon do both in his place.

“There’s kind of two groups of things that I do,” Hilber said when asked what the duties of a deacon are. “The one that everybody sees is what you would call the liturgical role.”  This role, he said, includes things like reading the gospel at mass, performing some sacraments and doing baptisms, as well as marriages and funerals.

When it comes to baptisms, my grandfather has done over 100.  Some of those include my own family members.  Just a few summers ago I was able to witness as my grandfather baptized my nephew, and godson, Isaak.

My grandfather was also my sponsor for confirmation. During confirmation, the sponsor’s job is to help the candidate spiritually during their preparation for the sacrament and witness the candidate’s acceptance of the sacrament.

The second role, he continued, was more of a serving role — services within the community and with people.

“Things involving charity and community,” Hilber said. “The work I do like teaching classes — bible classes and confirmation classes and so on — is part of that service aspect.”

One part of my grandfather’s role in the church that I wondered about was how being a deacon might’ve impacted his life.

“It’s certainly gotten me more involved in people’s lives than otherwise, I would say,” he said.

Years ago, when my grandparents lived in New Jersey, they worked for a bishop who ran a marriage preparation system.

“That brought us in contact with engaged couples and so on, and some of our friends we still have (today) go back to that time,” Hilber said.

This brought on another question, this time regarding rules about marriage.

“Neither deacons nor priests nor bishops can get married,” Hilber said. “If I’m married when I’m ordained a deacon, I’m married. But if (your grandmother) dies, I’m not going to get married again.”

After over 20 years of service, my grandpa continues to (occasionally) preach during Mass on Sundays, as well as fulfill the other various duties as deacon of our parish.