This April marks the tenth anniversary of when former US Vice President Al Gore bravely warned the world about the dangers of ManBearPig.
It also marks the tenth anniversary of when the world foolishly chose to ignore this grave threat to our national security.
It is frustrating to me that we have wasted this time debating whether or not ManBearPig exists, when we should have dedicated it to coming up with a solution for dealing with him.
However, for the benefit of the ignorant masses, I will explain once again who ManBearPig is.
Gore was the first person that encountered ManBearPig and lived to talk about it. Many have sighted ManBearPig since then (including me), but Gore deserves credit for being the first.
Not much is known about who ManBearPig is or where he came from, other than the fact that he is “half man, half bear and half pig,” as described by Gore.
ManBearPig is very dangerous, and he will not rest until he has completely annihilated the human race. He is out of control and we need to put a stop to him.
Most people have fooled themselves into thinking that ManBearPig is just a part of Gore’s imagination. This is absurd.
Not only have I sighted ManBearPig, but I am actually friends with him on Facebook. I am not sure how much more proof you need for his existence.
I can tell you from personal experience that ManBearPig is not only dangerous, but he is annoying as well. He is constantly flooding my Facebook newsfeed with selfies and tirades about Donald Trump.
These selfies are relatively harmless, but I suspect there is an ulterior motive behind his anti-Trump tirades.
Not only is Trump the only presidential contender that acknowledges ManBearPig’s existence, but he actually has a plan for dealing with him.
Though I respect Trump for having the bravery to publicly confront ManBearPig, I think that overall he is behaving foolishly.
Trump’s plan consists of nothing more than deporting ManBearPig to Mexico and building a wall to keep him out. This plan will not work for two reasons.
First off, Trump does not explain how he is going to apprehend ManBearPig. ManBearPig is sneaky and I doubt law enforcement will ever find him. Even if they do, I do not understand how they will arrest him.
As I said, ManBearPig is incredibly dangerous. I do not think an entire infantry division would be able to capture him, let alone a couple police officers.
Second, a wall is not going to keep him out. We cannot even build a wall that will keep out the Kool-Aid Man, let alone ManBearPig (on a somewhat related note, the Kool-Aid Man is another menace that needs to be dealt with).
I do not know what we should do about ManBearPig. Many days I question whether he even can be stopped. But we have to try, because in the long run it is either going to be him or us.