Pandemic edition

Dating during the pandemic might have been one of the hardest things I have ever done. I imagine this must be what people dating long-distance feel like. Fewer dinner dates, fewer movie dates, less travel, less one-on-one time. It’s really hard to date and continue to foster relationships and growth during this uncertain time. 

That being said, it’s possible. I know because I have done it and am still doing it. My boyfriend and I have been dating since June of 2019. We have sadly spent the majority of our relationship in a pandemic trying to balance the responsibilities to one another, work, school family and the pandemic. 

But, when you really care about someone, when you care about their success, their well-being, their health you realize how superficial movie theatre dates and dinner dates can be. The importance is not what you’re doing, it’s the person who you are spending time with. 

There are some things that he and I have done to adapt to this crazy year we live in. We had an at-home prom last April. We had already bought our prom clothes prior to COVID-19 so we found a tie to match my dress, had a small photoshoot in Lindenwood Park and went to dinner in our fancy clothes. 

We exchanged the movie theatre for at-home movies, dinner dates became take-out dates. And the trips we took were filled with COVID tests, masks and social distancing. 

That’s not to say we are perfect. And I miss going out with him a lot. I wish we could have gone to see plays since we both love theatre. I wish we still went to the movie theatre, I wish we could have celebrated our one-year anniversary in a more spectacular way.

But I am still grateful. I am grateful I can still see him, grateful when he did get COVID-19 that he recovered and did not expose it to the rest of his family and myself. 

You can take this Valentine’s Day and make it into something special for reflects you and your partner, just like my boyfriend and I adapted prom to fit our interests. We don’t do a lot of dancing so instead, we watched a movie in some sweats. The finery was fun for photos, but after dinner, we just wanted to be comfortable in each other’s presence and watch a movie. 

Maybe you are both adventurous eaters. You could order some toasted frog legs to-go from The Toasted Frog and give them a try. Or maybe you’re both really into reading and you could buddy read a book together. Maybe you both love to cook and you could make a special Valentine’s Day dinner together. Be creative. Use your mutual interests as a diving board to create a super fun date for the two of you. 

This is also an excellent time to send your partner a gift via mail if you are far apart, your partner is unwell or you aren’t comfortable going on a traditional Valentine’s date this year. Think of an Amazon snack box, deliver a floral arrangement or mail them a “send a friend” stuffed animal. Nike has also released a special Valentine’s Day shoe if you have a bigger budget and want to really go the extra mile. 

If you guys are comfortable with having an in-person date, make dinner reservations at a local restaurant. Many businesses have closed this year due to COVID-19. I personally can’t afford to use Uber Eats, GrubHub or Postmates. It regularly doubles the cost of my meal and on a college student budget, it simply isn’t accessible. 

This Valentine’s Day is a great opportunity to pump any extra money into struggling local businesses and help your favorite ones keep their doors open. Obviously, be smart. Wear your mask when around others, but many restaurants have implemented social distancing safety measures and are constantly cleaning which makes eating out relatively safe and easy.

Finally, know your partner’s love language. My boyfriend’s is quality time. He doesn’t particularly care what we are doing so long as I am nearby. We can talk on the phone, not say much and be content being in each other’s presence. Since we are both pretty into video games, we have started a two-player farm in the game Stardew Valley which surprisingly, has taught us a lot about teamwork and working together. 

Me, I like gifts. Flowers are my favorite and I don’t even need an expensive bouquet. A single rose would have me smiling all week. Chocolate is also one of my favorite treats. My mom though? She really doesn’t like flowers. She just sees them as a waste of money. She also really doesn’t like chocolate or anything sweet for that matter especially since she is on keto. 

Know your partner well enough to get them a gift that fits their personal tastes. If they are vegetarian, don’t buy them beef jerky sticks. 

Remember to be patient with your partner during the pandemic. Being indoors and it being winter affects a lot of people’s mental health. Don’t let distance be the reason you stop communicating. It’s scary how easy a habit it is to fall into.

When someone is worth it though, you go the extra mile to reach out when you see them withdrawing. When you love someone, you meet them in the middle to make the best of the current circumstances. 

That’s why this Valentine’s Day is secretly a blessing. This last year has been really tough. We have learned to love through grief, overcome distance and have hard conversations. Use this day as an opportunity to celebrate each other and all the hard work you have both put into making things work. 

Love is a choice. You choose to make it work. And if you have made it work through 2020, then that’s a reason to celebrate.