I would like to clarify a misconception on the legend of St. Valentine.  St. Valentine was believed to be a priest or bishop who aided persecuted Christians and may have also married Christian couples in secret during the reign of Emperor Claudius II.

When he was discovered, St. Valentine was imprisoned.  The jailer’s daughter mentioned by Miss Steffensen, a judge’s daughter by some accounts, was not St. Valentine’s secret love, but someone who was blind and to whom he restored sight.  While it is believed that he left her a note signed “Your Valentine” on the day of his execution, his letter would not have been about “love, secrecy and lust” as Miss Steffensen claims, but only love, specifically that of philia, storge, and agape.

Philia, Greek for “brotherly love,” describes a bond of friendship, storge, Greek for “familial love,” describes love that might be reserved for family or a fatherly love, and agape, Greek for “unconditional, selfless, or charitable love,” describes a sacrificial, I-would-die-for-you type of love (more on these definitions can be found in The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis).

In our depraved society, we like to believe that true love consists of eros or “erotic love,” and that our relationships will never thrive unless there is a strong level of sexual attraction; when the lustful desires fade, the relationship falls apart and we claim that there is no such thing as true love.  This is not accurate.  True, genuine, authentic love is more than just eros, it is philia, storge, and, most especially, agape.

True love is when you can say “no” to your own desires and “yes” to the needs of another; it is giving more than 100% to the other person and not expecting anything in return (and, no, I am not talking about sex).  It is the love St. Valentine would have shown towards the young woman, a willingness to help others, even if it meant his execution.

I would like to challenge everyone at NDSU to reevaluate their definition of love, from an overly sexual, secret, and lustful love to that of an open, brotherly, and sacrificial love.  For those that would like to learn more on this topic, St. Paul’s Newman Center is offering an excellent seminar titled “How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk (or Jerkette)” on Saturday, February 27th, at 9 a.m.  The online registration form may be found at bisoncatholic.org.

Catherine Schwebach

Cereal Science, Master’s Student