And a little advice from Wayne Gretzky and Randy Moss
Valentine’s Day has been and always will be an unusual holiday for sports fans. We care about the playoff picture, advanced stats and highlight reels. Most of us are too caught up in the sports world to pay much attention to trivial things such as romance. That’s not to say we aren’t interested, we’re just oblivious. To catch a sports fanatic’s eye, you’re going to have to get creative. You’re going to have to think like a sports fan to catch one, and I happen to be an expert. I received a full-ride to study sports fan behavior dynamics at Ball So Hard University, but I turned down the offer to come here. I also happen to be a sports fan, so if you’re trying to play some one-on-one with that special sports fanatic in your life, you’ve come to the right newspaper.
Pretend to Be Interested
I get it, sports aren’t for everybody. To some, it’s just tossing a ball around, or a waste of time, energy and attention. To sports nuts, sports can provide a lot of services. Interest can be drawn from childhood experiences, from admiration of athletes, from a sense of belonging with a team, or a variety of other reasons.
I recommend you find out what team or league your love interest pays the most attention to. You don’t have to know much about sports to start a conversation, you can simply ask about their favorite player or team. Sparking a conversation and showing genuine interest could be enough to make them pay more attention to you. If they begin to ask you questions about sports that you’re not prepared to answer, don’t try to make up an answer. It’s best if you admit you don’t know much about whatever it is they’re talking about. The last thing you want is for them to think you’re a dummy, or even worse, a Yankees fan.
Buy Them Gear
It’s undeniable that sports fans love to support their teams. They will wear hats, shirts, socks and everything in between to show their pride. If painting your torso purple and wearing a Viking helmet on your head doesn’t scream “support,” then my future wife is not going to be thrilled with the support I give. You don’t have to spend a lot of money. A winter cap is a great choice, for example. This subtly indicates that you’re thinking about them and their interests. And who knows, maybe they’ll feel obligated to give you something in return.
Make It Obvious
Just because we like sports doesn’t mean we’re athletic. A perfect spiral, a meatball, an empty net; you name it, we’ve missed it. I’m of course not only referring to our collective lack of athleticism, but also our oblivious nature. Let’s put it this way: if you tell a sports fan that you like their shoes, they will usually assume you like their shoes and nothing more. If you ask a sports fan if they have any Valentine’s Day plans, they probably won’t even question your curiosity. There’s no room for subtlety when dealing with a sports enthusiast. It’s just better to come out and say what you mean. Is it so hard to just ask, “will you be my Valentine?”
The answer is yes, it’s very hard to say. It’s like being at the free-throw line in the final seconds of a tie game. Wayne Gretzky’s timeless quote applies here: you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. It’s better to miss a shot than to forever regret never taking the shot. I hope I at the very least gave you some inspiration. You’re going to have to take a leap of faith at some point in your life, you’ll probably have to take several. My advice: just follow your heart, and you’ll be, in the words of Randy Moss, “straight cash, homie.”