Next year, the NFL needs ‘Hakuna Matata’ in the halftime show

Super Bowl LIII blew everyone out of the water. An electric first half (second lowest scoring in Super Bowl history) that was topped off with one hell of a halftime show. Teasing “Sweet Victory” from “SpongeBob SquarePants” as a tribute to its late creator, Stephen Hillenburg, and then playing just the intro. About 40 percent of “Sicko Mode” between censored portions. Twice as many nipples as the runner-up Super Bowl halftime show. Truly marvelous. The youth loved it. I think we need to bring this momentum into 2020 by playing “Hakuna Matata” at next year’s halftime show.

The youth love “Hakuna Matata” 

The youth love “Hakuna Matata,” and it fits our platform pretty well. For starters, Pumba explains that Hakuna Matata means “no worries” before the song even begins. All the information is there. We wouldn’t even need to really play the rest. The youth love it; they wouldn’t even notice.

Now, Disney is known for their strict copyrights. They even copyright stories like “Cinderella” that have existed for ages in many forms. We’ve got our work cut out for us, but I have a solution. We can beat those pesky lawyers by just censoring the song sporadically. Free use here we come. The youth love free things. We’ll just cut the audio all together every few seconds; no one will even notice or care.

At this point, I would like to reference the focus groups we used for 2019. These would indicate the youth love performers who: 1) wear tons of fur, and 2) wear nothing at all. Adam Levine NAILED IT, but I think Simba has the market cornered. He’s wearing tons of fur and is naked THE WHOLE TIME. I know, I couldn’t believe it either.

There are plenty of adequate songs out there, but “Hakuna Matata” is uniquely appropriate. What sets it apart is the message: no worries. Why worry about making a good halftime show? There are tons on YouTube by now, why are the fans so greedy? They can also take a lesson from “Hakuna Matata.” They can learn to just leave the halftime show behind because thinking about it will just make it hurt more. Good ol’ homebred hopelessness. The youth love it.