Here’s how I over came the feeling of mondane appathy.

Hey, you doing ok? I know that’s a loaded question that everyone has inevitable been asking over the past months. Also we probably don’t know each other. I’ll ask a different question, have you felt that gnawing feeling too? 

Sometime I sit down at my computer to write or read the endless material for class and that voice hits me right in the back of the head. It tells me just how worthless all this is, how my job will not care what my minor was or how much literature I read during my college career. 

Successful people probably have that gnawing feeling as well. They have to deal with the overwhelming debt of being, just as much, probably more, than us mortal college students in our fledgling stages of development.

What’s weird to me is how much stronger this feeling has become since the plague changed my life. It has grown to a debilitating level, consuming things that I usually enjoy and spitting them back out at me in a new and grotesque form.

It really isn’t that weird at second glance. Life used to just happen, remember? We walked to class saw a friend, got a beer and talked about the various things we were interested in. That was our reward for pushing that preverbal rock up the mountain. 

There was this influencer that popped up on my feed a couple of days ago that was talking about how we shouldn’t miss partying or going out because we should live for the “grind”. He was also doing pushups to add to the emasculation.  

I realized he was probably right. We should take this time to better ourselves, but damn if the silence doesn’t weigh the world down a bit. 

Yeah, we could go out and do those things we did before, but that would be inherently stupid. This inevitable adds to the feeling, watching people who don’t care, go about their lives, light as a feather floating on an uncovered sneeze. 

So what’s a fool to do? Well during a complete slouch, where I was motionlessly staring at my computer, I found a hack. I put on some powerful music, and I got up and started moving my body in violent ways. Thank god no one was watching, but for some reason it worked.

My head hurt from thrashing it back and forth but damn did it give me some good energy. I think a walk is to slow and modest, we are young and stupid, out body’s should move accordingly.

I’m going to leave it at this because this article is starting to give me that gnawing feeling and I have to scare my girlfriend with my death metal kicking. Maybe she will join, probably not.