What to bring with you when your fire alarm goes off at night
Worst case, this dude pulls out a big fan.
It is possible to make many helpless people suffer. You could be a baby on an airplane. You could jam traffic by cutting across four lanes and moving rush hour up 60 minutes. You could even ask all your friends and family if they would like to be their own bosses by moving someone else’s mediocre merchandise.
None of these make me lay in my bed at night, wondering what we did to deserve this torment. No, none of these compare to the 2 a.m. fire alarm.
If you’ve ever wanted to see everyone who lives in your building and what their “just kill me now” face, pull a fire alarm at 2 a.m. We’ve all been there, marching through the halls 99 percent sure that there is no fire and 100 percent sure you’re standing in the cold anyway.
That is why I recommend putting together a kit in case you ever find yourself at the world’s worst complex party.
When you inevitably fall into a “Lord of the Flies” type situation warmth will be currency and you will be king.
Gum is a solid place to start. You’ve got a lot of people with morning breath out there. When you end up huddling together, your breath might not be minty fresh.
More importantly, your potty mouthed friends might smell like they’ve been drinking from the bowl. You don’t want to deal with that. Bring gum.
You’ll also need a blanket, hoodie, warms socks and shoes, maybe even a lighter. When you inevitably fall into a “Lord of the Flies” type situation, warmth will be currency — and you will be king. Your PJs are not night-out material. Come cozy or not at all.
There’s one thing more important than the rest: a positive attitude. Nothing you can bring outside will beat a smile. You can even bring out some cards or other games to play. Anything to pass the time and keep everyone’s minds off the chilly night air.
Also on the list, a pair of wire cutters. That alarm plays my ear drums like a wannabe metal head 12-year-old. If I have to listen to it for one more second, I’m going to lose my goddamn mind. Snipping away at anything and everything in the maintenance area will end this waking nightmare so I can sleep.