Ever since Max McDonald was seven years old, he’s wanted to write books. He was captivated by a school project that asked students to write a chapter of a story they wanted to tell, whether that story would be fantasy, science fiction or any other genre. McDonald wrote about an alien attacking Earth, ultimately being defeated by a superhero. He was an eclectic novelist from a young age.

Eight years ago, McDonald began his studies in English at NDSU. While his parents were concerned about his future career potential, McDonald was determined to fulfill his childhood dream. This dream gradually became reality as McDonald developed his writing and his interests at NDSU.

“I had an amazing time within the English department at NDSU,” said McDonald. “The faculty and students were crucial to my development as a writer. I’m very grateful for my four years of education here.”

Yet after graduation, McDonald’s dreams seemed to hit a wall. Suddenly, his parents fears about his future were a stark reality.

“I couldn’t get through anywhere,” McDonald explained. “I had written a few chapters of a novel in my senior year. I thought it had potential. I sent it off to some publishers, but the rejection letters just kept coming. I was really thinking about giving up on my dreams to become a novelist.”

Then, inspiration struck in an unlikely place: the young adult fiction section at Barnes & Noble on a Monday afternoon. Seeing the massive amounts of fluffy, melodramatic text, the bountiful amounts of teens gobbling it up and the movie adaptations that were continuing to turn the machine, McDonald realized his “in” to the world of literature.

That night, McDonald sat down at a desk, took a shot of tequila and began what would become the beginning of his climb into fame.

“I just, I don’t know, I just kind of threw stuff together,” McDonald remembered. “I was a little drunk, not going to lie. I think it included some vampires, werewolves — obviously. But I vaguely remember some trolls and witches involved as well.”

By the end of the night, McDonald was passed out on his keyboard, a full book smashed out in an open Word document. He told me that he didn’t even reread the text, just saved it and sent it off to one of his friends working at a publishing company in New York. The next day, he had already received a response.

“I thought it was going to be another rejection letter. I knew it wasn’t good, I didn’t proofread it. I was just grasping at straws,” McDonald laughed. “But when I opened the email my friend had said, ‘You know, my editor really liked this. I think we should move forward with publishing.’ And that was the beginning of everything, I think. That’s when it all changed.”

After going through the grueling process of editing, editing and more editing, in addition to figuring out a marketing strategy, going through legal paperwork and designing the cover, (“The most important part,” McDonald joked) the final product was able to be published.

The day of the release, McDonald recalled, he was so nervous he couldn’t eat. He, his agent and the editor of the project were sitting together in the editor’s office waiting to hear about the stats of his first sales. By the end of the day, McDonald was feeling pretty good. Ecstatic, actually.

“It was an immediate best-seller,” he laughed. “After all that work, all that education, all that hoping. The long hours of staying up late to finish papers and reading exhaustive texts, all I had to do was get drunk and write a book in a night.”

Speaking of his education: “I am a little nervous to see what my friends and professors say. I feel like I sold my soul a little bit, but now I have a Ferrari, a big house in the Hamptons, all the perks that come along with financial success. So, I don’t really see a downside.”

Max McDonald’s book is not available for purchase at any dealers, not even Amazon. For more information, please do not visit any websites because this is entirely a satire piece.

All the people depicted in this piece are fictional. Any similarities or names between people, living or dead, is pure coincidence.