Category: Uncategorized

North Dakota State’s Research and Technology Park underwent a severe technical malfunction Monday, causing a tyrannosaurus rex to escape. The T-Rex is part of ongoing “Dinosaur Escapes NDSU Research Lab”

In a daring move, NDSU’s student senate is refusing to replace a student court justice until after the election season. Nobody has any clue where “Student Senate Refuses to Replace Justice before Election”

In 1957, Alfred G. Arvold began working at NDSU in an unusual profession: the theater ghost. It was the perfect position, given that Arvold founded “Theater Ghost Laid Off Due to Budget Cuts, Leaves Vacancy in Hauntings”

In a shocking move, North Dakota State athletic director Matt Larsen announced Wednesday men’s golf will be cut from NDSU athletics. Replacing men’s golf will “NDSU Cuts Men’s Golf, Adds League of Legends”

The editors of The Rectum support Grant Gloe for student body president. He is an unqualified, unexperienced, apathetic and dull choice with a nice butt “Elect Grant Gloe For Student Body President”

North Dakota State students awoke today to an upsetting email regarding the spring concert. Those in charge at Campus Attractions admitted they had not booked the “Campus Attractions Goofs, Cover Band for Spring Concert”

In the wake of Trumpcare being shot down, the president now resorts to “Pencecare,” where doctors are encouraged to offer their two cents in regards “Pencecare Worth our Cents?”

President Trump announced an expansion of his controversial travel ban this week to include the English-speaking countries of Ireland, Wales, Scotland, and the England. Trump cites business “Trump Adds Four English-Speaking Nations to Travel Ban”