Oh my god I hate this cat.

I am the proud roommate of a cat owner.

It is hell.

I don’t even take care of the thing. That is mostly reserved for my roommate. The cat on the other hand, offers many services to me.

Trashing my room, eating trash out of my trash can, peeing on my blanket — he truly can do it all.

I, of course, will not use the cat’s name to protect his anonymity, but he truly is an ass.

His name is Cecil.

I remember the first day I met him. He was a small kitten, literally the cutest little thing ever. I hated every ounce of him.

Then I loved him. Then, after checking myself for brain damage, I went back to disliking this little heathen.

Every night it is the same thing. I kick him out of my room before he somehow he finds his way back in. While in my room he, of course, follows all the rules.

He does his business, like knocking over anything that contains any water. Preferably if he can knock over water on bills, or anything that is electronic, that is when he is truly proud of his work.

If he isn’t welcomed into my room for the night, and other people have had enough of his company (Lord only knows why) he sits outside doors meowing until someone finally gives in.

If his cries warrant no response, he will go running around the house knocking over anything and everything.

A day does not pass where we don’t shout, “Kitty, no!”

His misdoings aren’t just limited to my room. No.

The bathroom — he likes to watch people shower. Also he has learned to somehow get the toilet seat completely soaked with water. I still haven’t unlocked that mystery.

He is a curious cat.

This cat is my nemesis. My roommates all love him. There must be something wrong with them, I know.

Whether you are a dog person, a cat person, or god forbid a bird person, we have our preferences. Some of us like having an animal that cares, an animal that is loyal and obedient.

From what I have seen, Cecil is none of these things.

But hell, at least he isn’t a snake.