I will be the first to say this is an unpopular opinion, but Bison football games are boring. Let it out; hate me as much as you want. You cannot deny though that Bison games are sparsely populated by students and leave little competition to be had.

This has prompted North Dakota State to take away Section 16 in the Fargodome from students, freeing up 570 more seats for paying customers, who have a higher incentive to actually stick the game out.

Just to be fair, I am in no way saying that the culture is boring. Tailgating is a good time. Getting drunk at 10 in the morning on a Saturday sure seems like a good time. College football is a good time.

However, when your average margin of victory is 45-9 in the Fargodome, who can blame a drunk freshman who’s a few BAC ticks away from vomiting in the public bathroom from going home?

Hey sir, you aren’t missing much. We just ran for another touchdown. It’s 65-6. Look, I get how privileged I must be to be complaining about how good our team is. I literally feel like the worst.

But don’t ignore that this is a legitimate complaint. Even the casual football watcher at home goes to another game when the outcome of the game is inevitable.

This isn’t to say it is fair to the athletes. Oh God, it must suck when you have to play up by so much, risking injuries when the outcome has pretty much been decided.

It also must suck watching your primetime highlight be missed by literally all the students that showed up to simply sing “Thunderstruck” because they have tapped out and gone home.

Call me old-fashioned, but I enjoy a good close game, not a pummeling. It’s like watching Rocky beat up on the Yodel Kid, it isn’t interesting.

So I am the worst person on this campus. Pull my hair and spit in my face, but I am not going to let this blatant fact be ignored. Put the Bison in another more interesting conference, please perhaps? Until then, “Thunderstruck” is almost the climax.