Ignorance is easy when all is blissfully well. When campus projects break ground, budgets swell alongside enrollment and a Division-II football team evolves into an “Dear NDSU Students: Give a Damn”
Author: NDSU Spectrum
The Rectum Calls for Impeachment of Student Body President
The editors of The Rectum call upon the student court and senate to immediately impeach North Dakota State Student Body President Spencer Moir (pictured) for “The Rectum Calls for Impeachment of Student Body President”
Provost Ingram Fights Budget Cuts as Pickled Parrot Bartender
In light of massive budget cuts, North Dakota State Provost Beth Ingram has taken a part-time position at The Pickled Parrot as a bartender, giving “Provost Ingram Fights Budget Cuts as Pickled Parrot Bartender”
The Turf Bought Out by Herd and Horns
Disclaimer: This is totally, 100 percent fake news. It is satire written for our annual April Fool’s edition, The Rectum. It is a joke and “The Turf Bought Out by Herd and Horns”
Burgum to Run for Student Body President, Again
North Dakota’s governor and former North Dakota State student body president, Doug Burgum, has announced his candidacy in the race for student body president. Burgum “Burgum to Run for Student Body President, Again”
Dinosaur Escapes NDSU Research Lab
North Dakota State’s Research and Technology Park underwent a severe technical malfunction Monday, causing a tyrannosaurus rex to escape. The T-Rex is part of ongoing “Dinosaur Escapes NDSU Research Lab”
Elect Grant Gloe For Student Body President
The editors of The Rectum support Grant Gloe for student body president. He is an unqualified, unexperienced, apathetic and dull choice with a nice butt “Elect Grant Gloe For Student Body President”
Trump Adds Four English-Speaking Nations to Travel Ban
President Trump announced an expansion of his controversial travel ban this week to include the English-speaking countries of Ireland, Wales, Scotland, and the England. Trump cites business “Trump Adds Four English-Speaking Nations to Travel Ban”