On October 13, the angel that is Chelsea Cutler released her album “Stellaria,” and although I might be considered a fake fan considering I only know a few of her other songs outside of this album, I think I have the credentials–what those are, I have no idea–to say that this one was nothing short of a masterpiece.
Before I get into my favorite songs, I must share the meaning behind this album and its name. Cutler explained, “This whole album is about noticing and being present and seeing what’s right in front of you.” Not only is this a beautiful statement, but this is such an evident theme in every single song.
“Your Bones”
I don’t think I can put into words how much I love this song. Although Cutler has been quoted saying she isn’t much for writing love songs, this love song is one of vulnerability that describes how being in a relationship and feeling love can change a person for the better. Two of my favorite lines that correlate with these ideas are, “Suddenly I’m somebody I don’t recognize; but I am so happy to be her,” and “Naked and afraid; they tell me that’s when you know.”
It also talks about loving someone, flaws and all, with the main part of the chorus going, “I love you down to your bones.” We’ve all heard this phrase, but when she delivers this line with the rest of the lyrics, it becomes that much more meaningful.
“I Don’t Feel Alive”
This song is a little less upbeat and describes self-hatred and the intrusive thoughts that come with that mindset. I’m not sure if this is just my interpretation, but I think she is specifically describing self-hatred in the manifestation of not eating. The first two lines are, “Skin and bones; stomach aches,” which describes the physical parts of an eating disorder. She also goes into the different things she does to distract herself from not only her hunger but also her thoughts. One of the lines that tells of the struggle is, “I’m reading books and drinking coffee; stepping on a scale I keep in the bathroom.” This describes how she might be trying to escape the hunger by reading and drinking coffee but also the hold that her weight has on her.
This song also could be about how when you are in these lows, not just with eating disorders but with mental health in general, you try to climb out of them by seeking self-improvement and validation from others, but in the end, you don’t feel alive inside and it all leads to emptiness.
“You Don’t Think About Me At All”
Coming at you with yet another sad song, this one talks about how much it hurts to realize that someone who used to be really special to you might not think about you at all even if they’re all you think about. Cutler talks about all the memories she has with her ex and how they replay in her mind constantly but then reflects on how her ex has moved on. The realization that you don’t matter to someone else as much as they matter to you is one that anyone can relate to whether it’s relationships, friendships, or other people in general.
The main line of the chorus is, “I hate that I’m still thinking about you; When you don’t even think about me at all.” This is such a heartbreaking line because when you think about someone, you obviously have a desire for them to think about you just as much.
“Something More”
I heard clips of this song on TikTok a couple of times, and I instantly fell in love. Something about Chelsea’s voice is extremely angelic especially in the chorus when she hits this beautiful note on the line, “I need something more; something more than this.” This one talks about the times when you feel empty and life just feels very bland. During these times, we all need something more to keep us going, and we want to live lives that excite us and give us the ability to feel something and experience the world.
All of us have dreams, so when we get stuck in the ruts of life where we’re just working towards those dreams, it can be hard to see the other side. This song expresses those feelings in such a perfect way, and I highly recommend it.
“Loved By You”
This one is yet another on missing someone and the way they loved you. Cutler describes how highly she thinks of her ex and how it felt to be loved by her. The main line of the song is, “All I want is to be loved by you.” When someone goes from being your everything to nothing, it can be hard to deal with emotionally and sometimes it can be hard to dislike them because of the beautiful memories they also gifted you.
“No One Hates Me More”
This album has a couple of recurring themes, so here’s another one on not liking yourself and everything that comes with that. Most people can relate to this song simply because we are all our own greatest critics usually. The main lyric of this song is, “No one hates me more than I do,” which couldn’t be more straightforward.
It talks about the difficulty of being alone with your thoughts and all the negativity you pin on yourself. Hating yourself is by no means something you should take pride in because it’s very self-destructive and takes the joy out of life, but when you’re dealing with these feelings, it can be really difficult to bring yourself out.