Airboats for all

How to get some fun out of the flooding

One of these could handle any place flooded by the Red River.

I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but there’s some extra water in Fargo. Flooding is taking its toll. I’m surprised we need sandbags at all if the Red River has the giant stones to think it can steal our surface area. We ought to teach it a lesson and learn to enjoy our new landless-scape.

There’s an obvious way to find the fun in roads and parks covered in water. An opportunity to do something otherwise unthinkable. To take to these spots like a real sportsman. I am talking, of course, about water skiing.

Yes, my dreams for the last few weeks have had me dipping and dodging between trees and signs and having the best of times. Owning the roads in a way no one ever imagined. I’ve tried getting other people excited about the concept, particularly people who own boats, but have been told the water is simply too shallow in many places for a normal boat.

The water is shallow, but my disappointment was deep and dark. Luckily, I’m not someone who just gives up. I knew if I look long enough I would find a way to make my dreams reality. That is when I came up with it. An ingenious plan so simple, I really can’t believe I didn’t come up with it earlier.

I rented a boat.

Why ask for help from people who don’t believe in my cause? I lowered that boat into the Red River, and to all of you naysayers naysaying that the water is too shallow: yeah, you’re right. Like, so incredibly right. I’m not getting that deposit back. Do you think they’ll let me take more student loans with two weeks left?

Here I sit, getting lost in thoughts of gliding on land that’s long gone, swallowed and erased by the Red River. I wish I had something to take the edge off. Remove the sting of life, if only for a moment. Unfortunately, my “Applebee’s buffalo wings with blue cheese dipping sauce” fund is pretty drained.

Hey, I just had another idea. We could all get airboats. Those handle shallow water really well and can move surprisingly fast. I’m not sure if you could ski behind one, but it’d be pretty fun to take one out, right? I bet it would be really fun. That would make a great article.

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