The 3-ton statue mysteriously went missing before graduation

Early in the morning of Friday, March 29, it was discovered that the Bison statue outside North Dakota State’s main library had been stolen, leaving only the hooves of the Bison in its place.

The Bison is suspected to have been dragged across the street to a nearby vehicle, which authorities have assumed is a truck or U-Haul because the Bison is both huge and heavy.

Authorities have found scuff marks on the pavement, indicating a struggle in moving the Bison.

The Bison, weighing nearly 6,000 pounds of pure muscle, must have taken at least four people to drag.

The Bison was severed just above the hooves, and some sources reported seeing the Bison being cut into several pieces once on the truck.

One anonymous student source said that the people pulling the Bison away were wearing Bison Catholic T-shirts.

Some sources have said that Bison Catholic is responsible for the theft, as they have wished that it would cover up its testicles for several weeks.

“We had nothing to do with the theft of the Bison statue,” the Bison Catholic president said.

“I saw them, three people with Bison Catholic T-shirts. They even put a pair of swim shorts on it before they began cutting it apart,” an anonymous student said.

Other sources blamed the University of North Dakota, with one student claiming that UND students waited on campus until campus police went home.

“I heard they hid in the vents in the Memorial Union and snuck out when they knew the coast was clear. Then I heard they brought little hand saws and stuff to break the statue off,” said Josh Montego, a sophomore studying psychology.

Another student, Victoria Bleecher, a senior in engineering, said she heard the statue fall from her spot at Herd and Horns. “I thought I was just drunk,” Bleecher said.